Fight off the White Hairs An ATC for Kimbro
by hellocowboy
Summary: Matt returns to Dodge after the death of his good friend Adam Kimbro with a lot on his mind. Complete
1. Trail Leads Back To You

_Kimbro has become one of my favorite episodes so I thought I might make this my first attempt at fan fiction. I hope you enjoy it!_

_I do not own these characters but what fun I would have had if I did._

Matt finished the prayer, placed the hat back on his head and walked sadly to his horse. He had just finished burying the man who was his mentor and his friend. Even though he just lost the man who had taught him so much, Matt was happy that he was able to give Adam Kimbro the opportunity to prove how good a lawman he was this one final time. As he climbed on Buck the thought of how it might end for him was clearly on his mind.

The sun was setting on the plains as Matt made his way back to Dodge. Usually he would bed down for the night and get a fresh start in the morning but not this night. He was traveling with precious cargo and if someone else wanted to relieve him of the gold it would be best if he didn't give them a chance to get any closer. Besides, there was someone who he needed to be with, to talk to, to hold. As he rode into town it was near two in the morning. He brought Buck and the mule into the livery stable, unburdened Buck of his saddle and the mule of its carrying harness. He left the stable with the gold and headed for his office. As he approached the jail he looked up to see darkness on the second floor of the Long Branch, not expecting him home she went to sleep.

He loaded the safe with the gold pouches and made his way to the cot in the office. He took off his boots and settled back to sleep. As he closed his eyes his conversation with Adam flooded his thoughts. All Matt remembered was how Adam's emotions flowed from him like the Colorado sweeping through the canyons. _"Young, pretty, skin like fresh cream was Mary," "Oh, we talked about marrying but being a lawman I didn't want to leave a widow and kids." "She was happy just being my woman but then she wanted more."_ Matt turned on his side hoping a new position would drive Adam from his mind but no matter what he did he could still hear that tinge of regret in Adam's voice resonating in his memory, "_she could have been my wife, and those kids could have been my kids." _

Matt sat up leaned his back against the wall and exhaled. Adam Kimbro was dead, buried in the middle of nowhere with no one to morn him. No wife, no kids, no home. Then, as now, an empty feeling came over him that he found very hard to shake. Every time he closed his eyes Adam's deepest regrets played over and over in his head. Would Adam's regrets be his one day as well? Sleep wasn't coming easy for Matthew Dillon. It was now nearing three in the morning. He put his boots back on, headed outside, and then he crossed the street.

As quietly as he could he made the climbed up the back staircase of the Long Branch. As he approached Kitty's door he paused for a moment before he turned the key and entered the room. The moon was positioned in the sky so the light cascaded over her face. Matt made his way over to the chair by the bed careful not to make a sound. He laid his hat on the table and then sat down in the chair. He began studying her face; she was the most beautiful woman in the world. What was it Adam said, "_skin like fresh cream_?" Kitty had that and more. He smiled when he noticed that she slept on her side of the bed when he wasn't there.

He thought back to the first day they met. For eighteen years she has loved him unconditionally. She has stayed with him knowing full well she would be a target for anyone wanting to settle a score. He took a deep breath as he leaned back in the chair. He thought about all the times he has disappointed her and all the times she would swear that she never wanted to see him again but somehow they would always end up here in this room.

Matt ran his fingers through his hair. He never expected to live this long. Never thought he would have to worry about the white hairs or his draw getting slower or some young buck taking his job. Never thought about reaching Adam's age until now and what would that life be if Kitty weren't in it. The vision of entering Doc's office and seeing Kitty lying near death and knowing how close he came to losing her forced Matt to close his eyes to stop the onslaught of tears. He was now sure he didn't tell her enough how important she is in his life, how much he loves her, how much he wants her, and how much his very existence depends on her.

He took off his boots and laid them next to the bed and then removed his shirt and pants and laid them quietly on the chair. With so much emotion still churning inside, he slowly lay down next to Kitty but he found he still couldn't get to sleep. Some time later as he was still staring up at the ceiling Kitty turned, placed her arm around his massive chest and laid her head on his shoulder, "hello, cowboy."

He placed his arm around her back and rubbed it, "Honey, go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Not on your life Matthew Dillon, I'm so glad you're home." She squeezed him tight.

"How was your trip?" She let out with a yawn.

There was so much he wanted to say to her but everything was so muddled in his head that all he could muster to say was, "fine." Besides, feeling her so close and breathing in the sweet smell of her body was more than Matt could handle. He really wasn't interested in talking, not now. He just wanted to caress her, feel close to her, but most importantly make her feel loved.

"I missed you cowboy," she said in that soft sultry voice he knew was reserved only for him.

She glided her fingers down his chest. As she reached his hips Matt stopped her. "It is all about you tonight," he said, as he started to undo the strings on her nightgown.

Kitty didn't put up any resistance. She liked it when Matt pampered her. She wished they could be together every night but she would put that out of her mind for now. She lie naked in the moonlight and that sight still took Matt's breath away. He ran his hand the length of her body, touching all those pleasure points that he had come to know so well. He listened for the soft moans from those beautiful lips. He loved those sounds and lingered in the areas that brought her the most pleasure. With the moon still casting a soft light over her he could watch her complete approval. Matt worked his way up her body ending by giving her a soft kiss on her shoulder, neck, cheek, and then lips. Their eyes met for a brief moment before they were totally consumed in the most passionate night either had remembered.

Shortly before daybreak, Kitty awoke first. She looked over at Matt and smiled. She was so glad to have him home; she worried so when he was out on the trail. She lied on her side and watched Matt sleep. She let him be; knowing he probably didn't get much sleep the past couple of nights. She loved him with all her heart and wished that they could have a normal life together but she also knew a normal life without Matt was no life at all.

She laid back and looked toward the window as the sun was beginning to make its way above the horizon. It was going to be the perfect spring day and she thought how nice it would be to spend the day together. What they did didn't matter as long as they were alone, then she thought of Adam Kimbro. Their dinner was interrupted by the arrival of Adam last week and she thought Matt would probably want to spend some time with him.

After awhile she sat up on the bed and very quietly searched for her nightgown. She felt a hand run down her back and as she turned she saw a sly smile on Matt's face.

"Were you going somewhere?"

"I was trying to find my nightgown. With all the goings on last night Lord knows where it could be." Matt grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him.

"Forget the nightgown, I kinda like how you feel against me just like this."

"OK Matt what is going on?" She shot him a look. "Usually you wake, dress, and out the door you go but this morning you seem to have all the time in the world. I am not complaining mind you but I am rather curious." She smiled as she snuggled closer.

"Oh, Kitty I am not as bad as that!" She stared at him with total astonishment!

"Matt, I've known you for eighteen years, and I know when something is bothering you!" A fact he couldn't argue with.

"As much as I would love nothing more than to lie here with you today naked as the day we were born," Matt tried to stop her train of thought by kissing those about to be worked up lips.

"Oh, no you don't Matt," Kitty said as she tried to recover from his attempt to change the subject. "Where was I?" Matt smiled as he thought his plan might have worked but without missing a beat she said, "Would you please tell me what is bothering you?"

"Kitty it's nothing, really," Matt said as he raised his hand to her face. "I just thought we could spend the day together but I see no matter what I do I can't win."

"I'm glad you realize that cowboy!" She smiled.

Kitty decided that she wasn't going to push the issue. She knew something was on his mind and that eventually Matt would tell her. She was just happy that they were going to be alone.

"Now, let's see, where was I?" Matt pulled Kitty closer to resume the kiss he started earlier.

As Matt continued to work his way down her neck Kitty whispered, "I thought for sure you would want to spend some time with Adam today."

"I must be losing my touch," Matt looked at Kitty totally mystified. Kitty laughed not only at Matt's deflation but also at her own poor timing.

"I'm glad to see you think this is funny." Matt wanted to join Kitty's laughter and continue their intimate moment but the mention of Adam's name ended his playful mood that did not escape Kitty's notice.

"What's wrong Matt?" Kitty asked.

"We were ambushed Kitty. I tried to get him to take the gold into Dodge while I fought off the attack but he hid the gold and doubled back to help."

"Matt, why do you take such chances?" She hugged him even closer now.

"Kitty I don't know what happened, it was like he was having a flashback to the good old days or something," Matt looked puzzled. "When I tried to stop him he just kept charging with his gun blazing and then he was hit."

"Then he is up at Doc's?"

"No, he's dead, I buried him." Kitty could see the pain in Matt's face, "I'm so sorry Matt." She gently kissed him and laid her head back on his shoulder.

"Kitty, there are so many thoughts, uh, so many things I want to tell you."

Kitty ran her hand over his chest, "Then let's go to Spring Creek, we'll take some cold chicken in the basket, we'll chill the champagne in the creek and do what we normally do."

"Then we won't get too much talking done!" Matt smiled.

"Never known you to complain about that!" Kitty smiled back.

Matt squeezed Kitty tight as he kissed her. It took all of his strength to break away from her. "I have to get the gold to the bank but I'll pick you up in about an hour." Kitty frowned.

"Matthew Dillon, you know I can't get ready in an hour!"

"An hour!" He said as he kissed her stomach. Before Kitty could protest any further he turned back to her and said "I'll carry you out no matter how you look!"

Kitty smiled. She watched Matt get dressed suppressing the urge to get up and entice him back to bed. As Matt headed toward the door he said.

"You better get a move on, the clock is ticking!"

Matt checked the alley before he descended the back stairs. Although everyone in town had their suspicions about the Marshall and the saloon owner, Matt and Kitty wanted to continue to be discreet. As Matt appeared in the alley, Doc was just reaching the bottom of the stairs leading from his office. As Matt approached, with head down, he didn't notice Doc, "Good morning, Matt."

Matt continued past the man without a word in response. He had so many things to do before he could take the love of his life to their special place. Not used to being ignored by the big lawman, Doc raised his voice.

"Matt! Now what in thunder is so important that you can't manage to say a good morning?"

Matt was startled but unfortunately didn't hear a word Doc had said.

Matt turned towards Doc, "What?"

"What is wrong with you today?"

"Oh, I guess I am a little preoccupied." Matt offered as an excuse.

"It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that beautiful redhead across the street, now would it?" Doc loved to tease Matt about his little secret.

Matt tried not to smile. "What was it you wanted that you felt the need to wake up the whole town?"

"I wanted to see if the Marshall of this here town would accompany me to breakfast this morning, but it seems like he has other pressing matters to attend to." Doc's eyes looked up to the second floor of the Long Branch.

Doc's eye movements were not lost on Matt. "Just so happens I have to get the gold I brought back from the mine to the bank this morning."

"Well, that shouldn't take much time I'll wait for you in your office." Doc can be so frustrating at times Matt thought.

"Uh, Doc I have other things to do today, I was just going to grab some coffee and eat later." Matt tried to leave.

"As your doctor I insist that you have the proper nourishment." Doc grabbed his arm. "You just came in from the trail and heaven knows what nonsense you were eating, so come on."

Matt took a deep breath. "Doc, really, I'm all right and I promise I will get the proper nourishment later today."

Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache. "You know as well as I that anything can happen in this town at a moment's notice. You may never have the opportunity for the nourishment that I have prescribed so I'll just wait in your office until you are finished with the gold."

Total exasperation came over Matt's face. "Doc, after I drop off the gold I am going to the livery stable and get a buggy." Matt was hoping that would satisfy Doc's curiosity and he could be on his way.

"Whose buggy?"

"A buggy for me!" Matt shot him a look.

"Making Marshall calls in a buggy now, are you?" Doc chided his good friend.

Matt was at his wits end. He knew Doc wouldn't be satisfied until he told him his plans. "Kitty prefers a buggy."

"Oh, I'm sure Hank wouldn't mind hitchin' one up for her and letting her know when he got it there. Why does the Marshall in this town have to spend his time doin' that? You know, once you start doin' that for one of the good citizens of Dodge you will be expected to do that for everyone and you have far more important things to do."

Matt was trying to keep his composure. "Doc, I'm going with Kitty, the buggy is for both of us."

Doc still felt very devilish. "Where are you going?"

"Spring Creek."

"Oh," Doc did a double take, "Oh, I've heard about that Creek!" Doc tugged on his ear. "Say now, wasn't that where this here couple decided to do some skinny dippin' and while they were in the water a couple of kids came along and ran off with their clothes?" Doc watched Matt's face for a reaction, "Well, it doesn't matter cause I know you and Kitty don't have desires like that!"

Matt could feel the redness in his face. "Tell that adorable redhead I said hello." Doc started to laugh to himself as he turned to walk to Delmonico's. Matt started to head to the office as Doc turned again to his friend, "Oh Matt, make sure you get the proper nourishment later today, doctor's orders." He shot Matt a wink and a huge smile as he walked away very pleased with himself.

Matt felt extremely exhausted after his conversation with Doc. He had to make up the time. He started to make a mental note of the things he had to do. Gold, buggy, bath, change clothes. All of these chores were secondary to the one thing that he just couldn't afford to forget.

TBC...


	2. In A Blink Of An Eye

_I apologize for all the prior unnecessary notices. I want to thank Dakota Kid for her invaluable assistance. Now on to Chapter 2._

Kitty came running out of her room. She spotted Sam downstairs setting up the Long Branch for the day. Kitty looked over the rail and called to her good friend.

"Sam."

"Yes, Miss Kitty."

"Could you please run down to Delmonico's and get some chicken in the basket, some potato salad, and, oh, an apple pie." As she turned to leave she stopped to make another request, "Oh, and I need these right away."

"They looked pretty busy when I went past a little while ago Miss Kitty, but I'm sure it won't be a problem." Sam immediately stopped what he was doing and headed for the door.

She quickly turned and ran back into her room. Sam suspected she was doing something with the Marshal today. He knew how deeply they cared for each other and was glad when they could find time to be together. He would do whatever he could to make sure they got out of town today.

Matt finally got to the door of his office. He was trying desperately to make up for the time Doc wasted. As he swung open the office door Festus looked up from the coffee he was preparing.

"Matthew, you want some coffee do ya?"

Matt couldn't believe the bad luck he was having today. In a resigning tone he said, "No, Festus, not now."

"Ain't you feelin' well, Matthew?"

"I'm feeling fine." Matt said as he made his way to the safe.

"Well, I ain't never seen you not have a cup of coffee when ya come into the office in the mornin'. You sure ya feel OK Matthew?"

Matt's patience with everyone this morning was starting to run thin. "Festus, I have to get the gold to the bank!"

"Aw shoot Matthew that can wait until a person has a cup of coffee, don't ya see?" he moved to pour Matt a cup.

As Matt continued to take the gold from the safe he looked up at Festus, "I have other things to do this morning Festus, I'll have the coffee later."

"Like what Matthew?" "Ya know I ain't doin' nothin' that can't be put off for a little while, that's fer sure."

"I understand that but I have to do these things myself." Matt took a breath, "You know there is something you can do for me today."

"Just name it."

"Watch over the town today."

"Well, sure thing. Ya know ya can count on me."

"I appreciate it Festus. I just need to get away today."

"Everythin' all right Matthew?"

"It will be once I am safely out of town. In fact, this is something I should have done years ago."

"Wheres ya goin' then?"

Matt totally exasperated by now, "Why is it so important for everyone to know what I am doing today?'

"Sorry Matthew I don't mean to pry." He dropped his head.

"Festus, I'm sorry but it is just that I need to take today off," hands accentuating the point. "The longer I stay in town something could come up and I don't want anyone or anything to ruin this day."

"You got it Matthew, whys I'll make sure that none of this here townsfolk bother ya atall, ya got the Haggen promise on that," Festus pointed his finger in Matt's direction.

"Thanks." As Matt lifted the other gold pouch from the safe he turned to Festus. "Come to think of it, you could go down to Hank's and hitch up a buggy and bring it back to the office."

"It's done already, Matthew." Festus put the coffee cup on the table and grabbed the handle of the office door. He started to turn to ask why he needed the buggy but just shook his head and continued towards the livery stable spurs jangling down the street.

With a moment to himself, Matt reached to the back of the safe and pulled out a small box. He was a lawman for many years and faced many men, some even faster than he, but holding this small box was the first time that he could recall when his hand shook.

Festus arrived just as Hank was nearing the front of the livery stable.

"Mornin' Hank, Matthew needs a buggy today and," Hank shot Festus a strange look.

"Not his horse?"

"Hank, now don't cha think I wood have said his horse ifn he wanted his horse?"

"Just a strange request is all, just give me a second and I'll hitch it up fer ya."

"Shoot Hank, I can hitch it up my ownself. Just betwixt me and you I think this here buggy is the most importenance thing for Matthew today. Yes sir, he needs a day off without nobody botherin' him."

"OK Festus, you know where everything is."

"Much obliged Hank."

Festus began his chore as he sang a little hill folk tune. When he looked up a lone rider appeared at the stable. Festus eyed the newcomer as he got down from his horse.

"Say, how much you want to put my horse up for the night."

"You got the wrong man stranger, Hank's inside," as he motioned toward the stable.

Festus watched as the man disappeared into the stable followed by his horse. He went about his chore but there was something unsettling about the man. He would make it a point to keep an eye on him after Matthew left. The man exited the stable and Festus watched him walk to the Bull's Head.

"How's it comin' Festus?"

"Who was that yayhoo?"

"Don't know, said he was looking for a good card game. Didn't look fittin' for the Long Branch so I sent him to the Bull's Head.

"Miss Kitty don't need someone like that in her place, that's fer sure."

"Yer think he might be lookin' for trouble Festus?"

"Naw, don't look the type. I's got to get the buggy over to the jail Hank, I'll see ya directly." Festus tried to cover his true feelings but one thing was certain he would be keeping a watchful eye on the stranger once Matthew left town.

Matt closed the safe door and rose to his feet. He left the pouches by the safe and carried the small box with him to his desk. He sat down, eyes never leaving the box. He bought the contents of the box in Wichita shortly after Jude Bonner and the dog soldiers were brought to justice. He really doesn't remember why he walked into the jewelry store or what he even said to the clerk. The one thing he did know was that he was looking for something so perfect. Something that would encapsulate everything he felt but for one reason or another could never verbalize. He continued to walk aimlessly around the store, scanning item after item, until he noticed the most beautiful ring he had ever seen but more importantly would look so perfect on the finger of the woman who had given him so much back in Dodge. The price was more money than he had with him but the owner agreed to accept five dollars to hold the ring until Matt returned with the balance.

Matt was totally lost in his thoughts when the door flung open. The familiar jangling of spurs broke his trance. He quickly put the box in his pocket as he stood to grab the gold. Festus gave him a quizzical look, as now Matt was very flushed.

"Ya sure ya all right Matthew?"

"I'm fine Festus why?

"Ya just looks different, is all."

Not wanting to discuss his health any further Matt turned to Festus. "How's that buggy comin'?"

"All hitched, sittin' outside for ya."

"Thanks, Festus, I appreciate it."

"Sure thing Matthew," Festus said with a smile.

It didn't take hill folk intuition to know whatever he was doing today had to have something to do with Miss Kitty, that was plain. What puzzled Festus was what Matt was hiding that made him look so red in the face.

Sam entered Delmonico's on a mission. As he waded through the crowded café he didn't notice Doc sitting at one of the tables. Sam saw Ed over in the corner.

"Sam, can I do somethin' for you this mornin'?"

"Well, yes, Ed. I have an order that Miss Kitty needs right away." Sam relayed the order Kitty had given him.

"Sam, you know I'd do anything for Miss Kitty but we are so busy this morning. I don't know if I can have it ready that soon."

"Ed, it's pretty important. I don't mind helpin'."

"Come on then." He gave Sam an apron as they entered the kitchen.

Doc was thoroughly enjoying the day. Hearing Kitty's order further confirmed they were heading for the creek. Doc found it strange that she would be ordering from Delmonico's since Matt loves her chicken and apple pie. Why is that big lug of a lawman in such a hurry today? He had finished his breakfast and was relaxing sipping his cup of coffee when Festus stuck his head in the front door. He spotted Doc and made his way to his table.

"Oh for heaven's sake, can't I enjoy one breakfast without you interrupting me?"

"Listen to me ya ole scudder," Festus pointed his finger at Doc. "I just been a walkin' round here doin' the job that this here badge says I should be doin'," as he proudly pointed at his chest. "Besides, Matthew put me in charge today."

"Oh good heavens, maybe I should get out of town too!" Doc was still feeling devilish.

"Doc, ya can just go ahead with all your hoorahin' but I'm tellin' ya that I'm a worryin' about Matthew. I think there may be somethin' wrong with him."

"Is that your profound medical opinion?" Doc shot Festus a serious look.

"See there ya go again, thinkin' yous the only person who knows anythin' about anythin'."

"OK, Dr. Haggen what seems to be your diagnosis on the condition of the Marshal in this town?"

"I don't know nothin' about this here die ig whats ya call it but I do know Matthew and he is actin' somewhat peculiar today."

"Like what?" Doc's interest was piqued.

"He's not talkin' normal like he does Doc. He don't want no coffee, he asked me to fetch him a buggy, and when I came back to the office he stuffed somethin' in his pocket and got all red about it. I'm worried about him Doc."

"Something in his pocket?"

"Don't want me to see that's fer sure."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache. Matt was a little edgy and very preoccupied as well when he saw him earlier. Just then Festus heard a voice that he swore sounded like Sam's. He left Doc's table and moved towards the kitchen.

"Sam, what's ya doin' in there?"

Sam was startled. He wasn't sure if he should mention that he had been cooking for Miss Kitty.

"Well, Sam, what's ya doin?"

"I, uh, thought I'd, uh, help, uh." The cook interrupted Sam.

"Sam, Miss Pry just brought over her pies so Miss Kitty's order is ready to go."

"Miss Kitty? Why she need food from Delmonico's Sam?"

Sam didn't want to give Festus an explanation, especially if it meant they would be discussing it in this very crowded establishment.

"Festus, I've got to go," as he hurried past Festus towards the Long Branch.

Festus returned to Doc's table and said, "See whats I mean Doc? Now it's Miss Kitty acting peculiar."

Doc knew that what was peculiar to most people was absolutely normal for his two good friends. In Matt's line of business they had to grab the moment when they could and hold on to it for as long as they could. What did raise Doc's curiosity was the item that Matt was hiding in his pocket and why that would make him blush.

Kitty had just left her tub and wrapped the towel around her. She enjoyed it more when Matt would help her with that particular chore but thinking of him now would only slow her down. She was as anxious as he to get out of town before someone or something changed their plans, as had happened so many times before.

In a room at the Dodge House Matt was also toweling himself off. He looked back at the tub and envisioned Kitty, water glistening off her body, as he wrapped the towel around her. He tried to focus. He needed to get both of them out of town before his perfectly planned day would be ruined, again. He couldn't afford to let that happen, not today.

Kitty sat to put on her makeup. She didn't have much time so she put on a minimal amount, beside Matt thought she was her most beautiful without all the paint. She splashed on the rose water that Matt so loved and left her hair down, part of it pulled back by one of the clips Matt had brought back from Hays City. She chose her straight blue skirt with an open collar white blouse. She fussed over and over wanting everything to be just right.

Matt put on his black dress pants. His only decision was whether to wear the white shirt or the blue. He knew Kitty loved the blue shirt but he was partial to the white. Blue shirt it is. He tied the string tie and put on his jacket. Memories of Kitty's hands running down his jacket warmed him as he made the finishing touches. Kitty called this his "courting" jacket; she could always make him smile. He reached into his work pants and pulled the box from his pocket and put it in his jacket.

As Sam entered the Long Branch, Kitty was coming down the stairs. Sam watched as she gracefully made her way down to the first floor.

"Sam I really do appreciate you helping me today. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Happy to do it Miss Kitty," Sam said as he stood basket in hand not able to move.

"Now all I need is the champagne," she said as she made her way to the bar.

"I'll get that for you Miss Kitty," Sam was thankful for the distraction. For some reason she looked especially beautiful today. Sam envied the Marshal and hoped he realized how very lucky he was.

At that moment Kitty heard the wheels of the buggy coming closer to the building. She tried to control her excitement and laughed to think how foolish she would feel if it wasn't Matt.

"Mornin' Sam," the voice was unmistakable.

"Mornin' Marshal," Sam said as he reached for the champagne bottle.

"Well, I see I'm not going have to carry you out," Matt sounded somewhat disappointed.

Kitty turned to face Matt and he stood frozen in place. Sam had never seen them act this way before. They always chose to keep their relationship as private as they could, masking their true feelings in public.

"Kitty, I, uh, why, uh,"

Kitty had never seen Matt stare at her this way, well, not in public anyway.

"You gonna just stand there cowboy or are you gonna help me with the food and drink?"

"Yes, ma'am," he smiled as he reached for the basket, bottle and then offered his arm.

As they were heading to the door Kitty turned to Sam. "We should be back before the evening rush."

"You just enjoy yourself Miss Kitty don't worry about anything, I can handle the business today."

He watched them go through the batwing doors and hoped their day would be as special as they both looked.

Matt placed the basket and the champagne in the buggy with the blankets he had placed there moments before. He helped Kitty into the buggy and the smell of her sweet scent and the promise of the day started to excite him. He quickly made his way around to the other side when a voice screamed his name from down the street.

"Dillon, I'm here Dillon. Come to collect."

Matt turned toward the sound as the man walked from the shadow of the building. Festus looked out of the jailhouse window and saw the man who came to the livery stable not an hour before. He cursed himself for not following his fine tuned instincts that told him this guy was trouble. The thought of Matt being hurt started to gnaw at his insides. A million thoughts ran through his mind, even ambush, but he knew Matt would rather be dead than to have Festus do something like that. He would just have to watch it all play out.

Matt couldn't believe his bad luck. He immediately thought about Kitty sitting in the buggy.

"Kitty, go inside."

"Matt, please,"

"Kitty, it's going to be all right. Please just go inside with Sam."

Sam came through the batwing doors and helped Kitty down and back into the saloon. She said a silent prayer.

"What's the matter Dillon, don't want your little lady seein' you bleed to death?

"What do you want Chance?"

"I want you dead, nothin' more. I'm a fair man, just thought we'd have a fair fight. More than you gave my brother."

"Your brother robbed a bank, killed a clerk, and wounded me."

"You shot him in the back."

"And I would do it again. There was no way I would let him get away."

Chance could see Kitty standing near the doors of the Long Branch.

"Tell you what Dillon, after I finish you off I'll take your pretty little lady on a buggy ride and show her what a real man can do."

"Chance, the only buggy ride you'll be taking is up to Boot Hill."

Chance threw back his head in a hardy laugh. "Dillon, you know you're no match for me.

"I know no such thing. If you ever stop talking long enough maybe you'd like to prove it to me."

Chance's eyes narrowed and Matt felt the hairs on the back of his head bristle. Before he could clear his holster he felt the bullet hit his body and throw him back onto the dirt. Another bullet had creased his head and he could feel the warm liquid pouring over his eye. As he was fading he could hear Festus' voice calling for Doc and telling him that Chance was dead.

"Hold on Matthew, you here?"

Doc made his way through the crowd with Kitty right behind him. Just as they both knelt over him he took a deep breath. As his half shut eyes focused on Kitty he grabbed her hand.

"Kitty, I love you. I've always loved you and I always will."

Doc looked at Kitty and she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Doc, Doc, please say he is going to be all right."

Doc just dropped his head.

"Doc, I need him. Please Doc, I need him."

The pleading in her voice and her tear blurry eyes were too much for him. He asked Festus to help her to her room.

"Doc, don't let him die. Not now Doc, please not now."

He looked down at Matt. He cursed the lawman for putting him in this position. Kitty struggled to her feet and tried her best to get herself under control. She was going to have to be strong now. She grabbed Festus' arm and asked to be taken to her room.

"Honey, I'll be over in a little while to give you something to help you sleep."

"OK Doc," was all Kitty could think of to say.

He watched her walk to her home. He wished he had some magical potion in his bag that could take away her pain and make everything all right but he was afraid this time there was a good chance her life would never be the same.


	3. Tomorrows Are Forever

_Thanks again everyone for your coments. Now on to Chapter 3._

Kitty was still numb as Festus helped her through the doorway of her room.

"Do ya want to lay down, Miss Kitty or maybe yous like to sit right down in that chair there?"

"It doesn't matter, Festus."

"OK then, here, let's sit ya down on ya bed."

She followed his instructions without complaint.

"Maybe ya like to lay down?"

Kitty stared straight ahead without uttering a word.

"Here now lay down, that's right, easy now," Festus grabbed Kitty's feet and placed them on the soft mattress.

"Yous want me to take them there shoes off and makes you more comfortable?"

Kitty just stared at the ceiling. As Festus watched her lying there his heart broke. There were times he just didn't understand the Marshal. It didn't make a lick of sense to him why Matthew didn't go off and make a new life with her especially after Kitty's encounter with the Bonner gang.

"Is there anythin' else you need?"

"No Festus, I'll be all right. I just want to be alone."

"Ya just holler ifn ya need anythin', anythin' atall."

"Thanks Festus," she squeezed his hand and gave him a half-hearted smile.

Festus made his way down the stairs as Sam approached him.

"How is she Festus?"

"She's been better Sam, maybe yous ought to keep an eye on her."

"I'll check in on her later."

"Much obliged Sam, see ya directly."

Festus made his way out of the Long Branch and headed for the jail. Sam walked back behind the bar deeply worried about his dear friend.

Kitty tried hard to close her eyes and fall off to sleep. She was so exhausted she didn't have the strength to change her clothes. She lay there with the dried blood from Matt's hand splattered across her right sleeve. It was just hours ago that she was lying in his arms, safe, protected from harm. She glanced over at his pillow and reached for it. She pulled it close and breathed his scent. Just in from the trail, it was a mixture of prairie dust and sweat but it was the sweetest smell to her now. As she continued to caress the memory of him she was tortured by the decision they made years before. She now regretted not having Matt's child and hoped that the love they made hours before would produce a miracle. Without warning her eyes filled with unending tears. She held onto the pillow tight as she released all the emotion she thought was never going to come.

The sun was beginning to set and she was finally starting to drift off to sleep when a knock awoke her.

"Miss Kitty, is there something I can get you?"

"No, thank you Sam. I just need time to rest."

"You really should eat something."

"Maybe later, right now I need to be alone."

Sam stared at the door and wished there was something he could do. He turned and made his way to the stairs. The Long Branch was starting to fill up for the night. He might not be able to take away her pain but he would certainly make sure her business ran as usual.

Awake again Kitty sat up in bed. It was then that she noticed the blood on her sleeve. As she ran her fingers over the material the vision of Matt declaring his love for her flashed through her mind. There was going to be so many decisions to make in the next couple of days. First thing she had to do was discuss his funeral with Doc, Festus and Newly. They were his family here so all the members of the family should have a say. One thing was certain she had the resources to give him a grand burial befitting the man he was. Life was never going to be the same again. Her mental list was interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Sam, really, I'm all right."

"It's Doc, Kitty."

"Come in Doc."

Doc made his way over to her side of the bed and sat down. He held her hand and squeezed it tight.

"How are you Kitty?"

She managed a slight smile as her eyes started to fill with tears, "Doc, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I know this has been hard on you." Kitty's pain was so deeply etched in her face. "I hope you know that I've told that overgrown public servant time and time again that he should put down that gun and enjoy the life he had left. Both of you enjoy life on some big old spread with kids running around, you know, someplace you two could grow old together but would he listen? No, he was too stubborn, bull headed, why if only I was a few years younger."

"Thanks Curly." Kitty reached and patted his arm. "It's no use going over what could have been; Matt was Matt. I loved him exactly how he was no matter how frustrating he could be. In the beginning I didn't want the big spread or the kids but as years went on I thought it was time, he didn't, but there never was a day that those things meant more to me than him. Now I just have to figure out how I continue life without him."

Doc looked at Kitty puzzled. "I don't think now is the time to leave him."

"We have to start thinking about the burial,"

"Kitty,

"I will spare no expense,"

"Kitty,

"I suppose we'll have to let the government know,"

Doc grabbed her arms, "Honey, look at me, Matt's not dead."

Kitty stopped and glared at Doc as if he were playing a cruel word game.

"Kitty, did you hear what I said? Matt's not dead."

"But, how, I thought, you sent me to my room, why?"

"I had never seen you react that way before, you were hysterical. I just wanted you to get away and lie down for a while. I'm sorry if you thought it meant Matt was dead."

Kitty jumped off the bed, "I have to go to him."

Doc quickly sat her back down, "Kitty, you need some rest. Matt is resting, there is nothing you can do for him now."

"I want to be there Doc. I want to be there when he opens his eyes."

Doc tugged at his ear, "I'm not sure that is going to happen very soon."

"What do you mean?"

"The bullet to his lower chest was deep but I was able to remove it without too much damage to his body but the other bullet that creased his scalp, well, I don't know."

"Is he going to live?"

"I believe so but, Kitty, I just don't know much about the brain. All I know is he isn't acting like he usually does but he is very much alive."

"Doc, I still want to see him."

Doc knew he was fighting a losing battle. He cupped her face in his hand, "Why don't you get freshened up. I'll meet you in my office."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, "Doc, I am fine, really. Matt's alive that's all I need."

Doc stood outside Kitty's door and took a deep breath. Matt was alive and he knew how happy that news made Kitty. He just wished she wouldn't get her hopes up too high.

Kitty quickly descended her stairs and ran up to Doc's office. She stopped at the door for a minute and took a deep breath. As she entered the back room Doc was taking Matt's pulse. He motioned to her to come in.

"How is he Doc?"

"Pretty much the same. You know, it might help if you talk to him. I heard some patients react to such stimulus especially when two people are very close."

Kitty looked up at him wide eyed but Doc just smiled and shook his head.

"Listen little lady, you forget that I know how very much in love you two are. He rubbed his cheek as if trying to swap a fly. "If you think for one minute that you are the only one who suffers, well, you should have seen, well, you should have seen that's all.

Doc started to make his way to the door to give Kitty alone time with Matt. As he closed the door he turned towards her again.

"You should know that he tried to hide his feelings but there never was a day the big oaf in that bed over there," Doc gestured towards Matt, "didn't love you."

Tears started to flow from Kitty's eyes as she gazed upon her cowboy. She rubbed her hand up and down his arm for a few seconds.

"Look at me Matt, blubbering like a young girl. Good thing you're not awake cause it probably would surprise you to see me cry. I've always tried to hide that from you. Heck, I even hightailed it out to the prairie one morning and cried my eyes out so you wouldn't know how much I hurt."

Kitty stood and walked toward the window. She looked out at the street. The sound of piano music playing wafted through the air as men staggered from one bar to the other. She would give anything if Matt were patrolling those streets right now. She turned and stared at his peaceful frame. He hadn't moved a muscle since she had arrived. She made her way to the door and found an empty office.

"Doc?"

Her question was met with silence. She made her way to Doc's desk where she found a note. _"Kitty, I've taken a room at the Dodge House, on the Long Branch's tab of course. Just thought you could use some privacy tonight. Sleep well, and I do mean sleep!"_

Kitty threw back her head and laughed. It felt so good to laugh again. She made sure the front office door was locked and then she closed the back room door. She had brought a nightgown just in case so she quickly changed and climbed in bed next to Matt. As soon as she felt him next to her again she knew it was going to be hard to sleep. She gently kissed his lips and nuzzled her face under his chin.

"Good night, cowboy."

The next morning, Doc carefully entered his office and quietly made his way to the back room. He opened the door, saw Kitty was still sleeping, and decided to leave her rest. He went over to the stove and started a pot of coffee. He heard the jangling of spurs coming up the stairs but before he could make a move the door flung open and a booming voice greeted the old Doc.

"Hows ole Matthew comin' Doc?"

"Would you keep your voice down?"

Festus continued in a whisper, "He can't hear me now, can he Doc?"

"No, he can't, but Kitty sure can."

"Miss Kitty been here all night, has she?"

"I'm not discussing it."

Festus grabbed Doc's arm to which Doc flung his arm away.

"Listen to me you old quackedy quack," Festus pointed his finger in Doc's face, "ifn you think that I's wood go and start yakady yaking like some shemale about Miss Kitty stayin' up here in the same bed within' the Marshal thens you don'ts know me. I woods never do that Doc."

"I know you wouldn't Festus," Kitty emerged from the back room.

Doc quickly turned in Festus' direction. "Now see what you've gone and done."

"Doc, it's all right. I should be getting up anyway." Doc walked towards Kitty and took her by the shoulders. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well considering I didn't think the "just sleep" prescription you gave me was going to work. Could be that it might have done Matt some good if I hadn't."

Kitty smiled at Doc and gave him a little wink. He was so happy to see her smile again.

"Yous givin' out sleep prescriptions now Doc?"

Kitty and Doc looked at each other and laughed.

"Honey, I'll have the coffee in a minute. Why don't you say good morning to Matt and I'll come and get you when it's ready."

Kitty agreed and made her way to the next room. "It's so good to see Miss Kitty smile again, ain't it Doc?"

"It sure is."

"Well, sincn' Miss Kitty is back wit' Matthew I's thinks I'll check the town." As he was opening the door he turned back towards Doc. "Doc, shouldn't we tell someone that Matthew can't be Marshal right now?"

"Let's give it a few days Festus. Matt might come to."

"But what ifn he doesn't?"

"I don't know Festus, I really don't know."

Kitty had quickly dressed and was sitting at the chair by Doc's desk. Doc gave her a cup of coffee as he made his way to his desk chair.

"Doc, do you think Matt will eventually be all right?"

"As I told Festus Kitty, I really don't know."

Kitty dropped her head. "I am so grateful that he is alive. I can't tell you how good it was feeling him next to me again but I wish,"

"I know honey," as Doc patted her hand.

"What if he never wakes up Doc?

"I suppose we could find a good brain doctor and take him there."

"I couldn't put him through that again Doc, but maybe they could come here."

"Maybe, but we have some time before we have to make a decision like that."

"Can he be moved?"

"Moved where?"

"To my room."

Doc gave her a worried look.

"He can't stay here Doc, besides he belongs with me."

"Kitty you have a business to run. I don't want you running yourself down.

"Doc, Matt and I never had any proper words said over us telling us that we have to take care of each other but I know I have to and I'm sure he feels the same."

"All right, but the moment I see you looking tired you are going to have to stop and rest, you hear me young lady?"

"Sure Doc. I'll take Matt's clothes with me. I suppose I'll have to throw out that shirt. I don't think I'll be able to clean it. Too bad, it is my favorite."

Kitty gave Doc back his cup and went to retrieve Matt's clothes in the back room.

"Thanks Doc, especially for last night." She bent down and kissed him on the cheek and gave him a hug.

"I'll check in on you later."

Kitty smiled as she closed the office door and made her way back to her room.

Kitty laid Matt's clothes over one of her chairs. She desperately needed to relax in a nice hot bath. As she waited for Sam to arrive with the water she sat on her bed for a moment and stared at Matt's clothes. As she looked at the clothes in a better light it was clear that the shirt would probably have to go. The jacket and the pants might be able to be cleaned but if not they would have to go also. She could always buy him new clothes. A knock on the door broke her thoughts.

"Miss Kitty, I have the water you wanted."

Kitty jumped up and let Sam enter the room.

"I'll pour this for you."

"Thanks Sam."

"How's the Marshal?"

"He's alive Sam for that I'm grateful."

"I know you are Miss Kitty. I'm glad too. You want me to have those clothes cleaned for you?"

"No, Sam. This may sound strange but I want to take care of that myself."

"OK. You really don't need to come down tonight. Why don't you rest after you take your bath. I'll handle whatever comes along."

"Thank you Sam, I'd like to do that."

"I'm sure you want to go and see the Marshal too."

"Well Sam, the Marshal will be staying here just as soon as Doc and I work out the plan."

"You know I'll help however I can. He's a good man Miss Kitty"

"You bet he is."

Sam made his way down the stairs. Kitty undressed and let out a huge sigh as she sunk into the warm water. She closed her eyes and she could feel the tension ease from her body. She was so glad Matt was alive and she knew that everything else would come soon. Once he was back in her room, well, if Doc was right about stimulus she was certain this room would do the trick. She dressed in her nightclothes and returned to bed. She grabbed Matt's pillow again and held it tight. This was going to have to do until he was with her again. Kitty closed her eyes and sleep came quick and deep.

Later that evening, Sam saw Doc enter the Long Branch. As Doc made his way to the stairs Sam called after him.

"Doc, Miss Kitty said that the Marshal was going to stay here. Does that mean he is going to be OK?"

Doc swiped his moustache, "Well, Sam he hasn't woke yet but Kitty wants him to stay with her. Now, I'm afraid she will run herself into the ground caring for him so I will need you to look after her and not let that happen."

"Doc, you know how I feel about Miss Kitty. You just tell me what to do and I will do it."

"Thanks, Sam. Now, I'm going up and try and convince the redhead upstairs to be sensible. I don't think I'll have much luck."

"She was sleeping the last I looked Doc."

"Well, good, she needs her rest."

Doc squeezed Sam's arm and smiled. He made his way to the steps and then slowly to Kitty's room. He knocked on her door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Doc."

"Come in, Doc." Doc made his way to her bed and sat down.

"How's Matt?"

"Much the same. I suppose you haven't changed your mind about Matt staying with you so how soon do you want him here?"

"Right now if you have him outside the door."

"I figured as much, but, no, I don't. I was glad to see you've gotten some sleep though. How about tomorrow?"

"Can't it be tonight?"

"Why are you so anxious to have Matt here? He will be a handful you know."

"This is his home, I believe he will respond better here."

"Kitty, I don't want you to,"

"Doc, I don't mean that type of response!" Kitty faked embarrassment, which brought a blush to Doc's face. "It's just that he has spent a good part of his life in this room. He might recover faster in more comfortable surroundings."

"Well, for the record, there can be involuntary responses."

"I'll certainly let you know if he has any of those!" Kitty winked his way.

Doc just shook his head, he knew when he was beat. "OK, I guess I don't have any other choice."

"No, Curly, you don't!"

"I'll see if I can round up some men and we'll come up the back stairs. No use in broadcasting to the whole town where the Marshal is going to convalesce."

He patted her hand and she responded with her beautiful smile. As he left the Long Branch he knew to keep that smile on her face he would do anything.


	4. The Long Wait

It was after closing time when Doc gathered the men to his office. Once the town was peaceful they lifted Matt onto a carrying board and very carefully carried him across the alley to the Long Branch. Kitty was waiting for them at the back staircase door and led them to her room. She watched as they situated Matt in her bed. As they were about to leave, Kitty stood in the middle of the group.

"As you can see Matt is not in the best of shape right now and there might be some folks that would like to take advantage of this situation. I don't know if many people would think to look for him here so I would like to keep it that way. I would really appreciate it if you could keep this very quiet." To a man they all nodded in agreement. "Thank you all and tomorrow the drinks will be on the house." As they descended the stairs, Doc pulled Festus and Newly to the side.

"I think we should set up a schedule to guard Kitty's room. Kitty is right, the word will be getting around soon that Matt was shot and make no mistake they will be coming. We have to make sure they are both safe until Matt, well, until Matt gets back to being Matt. There are some real good men in this town that I know would be honored to help out so Newly, first thing in the morning, I want you to go talk to Jeb Rankin, Raney Jones, Caleb Barnes, and Jimmy Cole for starters."

"You bet ya, Doc."

"Doc, whats can I do?"

"Festus, you take the first shift. I don't think anyone will try anything tonight, but we should be prepared."

"Sure thing."

Newly and Doc filed out of the Long Branch as Sam locked up. Festus climbed the stairs to take his post on the second floor.

Kitty sat at her bedroom table, released the pins from her hair, and commenced her before bed ritual. Satisfied that her hair was thoroughly combed, she made her way to her bed. She lay next to Matt, propped herself up on one arm, and started to run her hand through his thick mane of hair. "Matt, I know you are going to come back to me." She leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I love you cowboy."

The next morning, Newly brought the four men to the jail and waited for Doc to arrive. Doc outlined the schedule and gave out their assignments. After the men had gone Doc turned to Newly,

"You had breakfast yet?"

"No sir, I haven't."

"Let's go eat and then you can spell Festus."

"Sure thing, Doc."

Kitty woke and gave Matt a kiss. As she ran her hand down his face, she couldn't help but remember their vacation in St. Louis, Tate Crocker, and the wrecked stagecoach.

_She smiled as she recalled how it took her a good two days before she could relax. She was waiting for the dreaded telegram imploring Matt to return to take some outlaw back to God knows where. Fortunately, the telegram never came and Matt had made sure she was pampered every day. It didn't matter what she wanted to do he was more than willing to do it. He held her bags as she dragged him from shop to shop buying the latest fashion, they ate at the finest restaurants, took long walks down by the Mississippi, danced the night away, and when they retired for the evening she had never felt so loved. She wasn't sure if it was the new surroundings or the fact that he wasn't weighed down by the responsibilities of Dodge but Matt found new ways to send waves of pleasure pulsating through her body. _

_On their return home Matt was still attentive and loving. He continued to be as playful as he was in St. Louis, holding her in his arms as he stole passionate kisses. She was having the time of her life. That was until Monk Wiley. She didn't want to let Matt go or end this idyllic vacation until she stepped inside the Long Branch. She reacted badly to another one of his badge intrusions and sitting next to him, as if they were strangers, was not how she wanted the trip to end. She needed more time, wanted to feel his arms around her, and then the accident happened._

She took a deep breath as she laid her head on his shoulder.

_He shielded her as they went over the cliff. When she awoke and saw Matt unconscious she immediately wished she could have taken back the way she acted and the things she said. She hoped that those were not the last words they were ever going to speak to one another. She was lucky then and she just had to be lucky again. _

She kissed him once more before she got up to change. "Matt, when this is over we're going away and this time I'm going to do the pampering. This I promise, my love." As she made her way across the room there was a knock on her door.

"Yes?"

"Kitty, it's Doc."

"Come in."

"Aren't we the lady of leisure today, still in your night clothes are we?"

"I was just about to get changed. Why, were you looking for some coffee?"

Doc smiled, "No, as a matter of fact, I had my breakfast and two cups of coffee. How's our patient?"

"The same."

As Doc moved towards Matt to examine him, he looked over towards Kitty, "I set up a schedule to have someone here in case anyone tries to get to Matt."

"Thanks Doc and I also have his gun."

"I certainly hope you don't have to use it!" Doc proceeded to examine Matt. "I'm just as worried about you, you know." He looked up over his glasses. "Your life is in as much danger as his. Another reason I was not too keen on your idea."

"Doc, I'll be fine."

"Famous last words!"

Kitty looked over at Doc, "Where are the men going to be?"

"They'll be right outside your room."

"I suppose they think this is very strange, Matt here and all."

"I'd be surprised if they were."

"Oh Doc, I refuse to believe everyone knows!"

"Honey, this is a small town. I guess you've forgotten Matt's reaction after, well, I don't want to talk about unpleasant subjects."

"Doc, it's OK. I'm a little better able to deal with that now."

Doc hesitated for a moment before he continued, "As much as I disagreed with him that day, he put the badge down and went after them. He put himself outside the law, a law he had sworn to give his life to uphold. It was his life, what he stood for, what he preached. Do you have any idea how much he loves you? When he left my office the whole town was in the street. They all saw that he was not wearing the badge; they knew where he was going and what he was going to do. I say it was his life because that day everyone knew what was most important to him. No, Kitty, I don't think it would surprise anyone."

Kitty stared at Doc. Tears started to well in her eyes. Doc made his way over to her and held her close.

"Sometimes stubborn women need to be reminded," he rubbed the tears away from her cheeks. She looked at him and smiled.

"Doc, he just has to get well," he patted her back and rocked her. "I know, honey, I know."

It had been a few days since Matt's confrontation with Chance and his condition remained the same. Kitty spent most of her days divided between caring for Matt and running the Long Branch, although the saloon received less of her attention. Kitty was in her office going over the books. She had hoped that Matt would have recovered by now and she knew the dreaded discussion with Doc would have to take place soon. She put down her pencil and rubbed her neck. It was very hard to concentrate. She closed the books and made her way up the stairs. As she approached her door she could hear Festus talking about his Aunt Henry. She stopped for a moment to smile. As she entered her room, Festus looked her way.

"Sorry Miss Kitty. I's didn't mean to enter your room with you's not being here but I's thought I's have a little talk with Matthew.

"I'm glad you did Festus. I know it helps if we talk to him."

"Aw, shoot Miss Kitty there ain't nothin' I woodn't do for Matthew." He watched as Kitty made her way into the other room. "Miss Kitty?"

"What is it Festus?"

"Do we's really have to get another Marshal?"

"We'll leave that up to Washington but we have to notify them."

"Can'ts we wait some before we send that telleygram?"

"I don't want to admit that Matt might not get well either Festus but it can't hurt if we have another qualified lawman in this town."

She went over to him and gave him a big hug. "I know how you feel having another Marshal in town. It will bother me too but I'm afraid it has to be until Matt recovers."

Festus was still blushing from Kitty's show of affection, "I's best be goin' and gives you your time with Matthew."

"Did you ever get those drinks I promised you?"

"No ma'am but I will."

"See you later, Festus."

He closed the door and Kitty made her way to the bed. As she lay down next to Matt she kissed him and stroked his hair. "Cowboy, I don't know what to do. I guess we are going to have to have someone come to look at you. I don't know what I'll do if he tells me bad news." Her hand moved across his body as she showered him with kisses. A knock on the door startled her.

"I have your lunch Miss Kitty."

Kitty stood up and went to the door and let Sam in, "Thanks, Sam."

"Miss Kitty, I hope you eat a little more today than you did yesterday. You have to keep your strength up, you know."

"That's right Sam," Doc entered the room behind Sam.

As Sam closed the door, Doc went over to examine Matt. Kitty sat to eat but she really didn't have an appetite. Doc came and sat down across from her.

"You really shouldn't be playing with your food, you know."

"Doc, I'm really not hungry."

"Kitty, we have to discuss what we are going to do for Matt."

"I'm so afraid, Doc."

"Of what?"

"Of what the doctor might say. What if he says Matt will never be the same?"

"Let's not think that way but we really should know for sure." She sat frozen in thought. "Kitty, when I went to Baltimore a few years back to study disease I went to a school called John Hopkins. I became pretty good friends with a doctor who was studying the brain. I can't promise anything but I thought I'd send him a telegram, if you don't have any objections."

"Do you think he'll come?"

"Maybe, but in the meantime I don't want you to think about anything except eating the food that Sam brought up for you, OK?"

Kitty walked Doc to the door. He turned and rubbed her arm, "Everything is going to be fine; you wait and see."

Kitty closed the door and went to eat her food. As she took the first bite she eyed Matt's jacket hanging from the armoire. Another thing she meant to do. She dropped her fork, walked over and stood staring at the hanging jacket. She rubbed the sleeves and took in a deep breath of Matt's scent. "Oh, Matt." Not able to eat she walked over to the bed and again lay down next to him. She hugged him as she laid her head on his shoulder, "Doc's going to send a telegram to a doctor in Baltimore. I'm scared Matt, real scared."

The next day Doc received a reply from Dr. Michael Jenkins. He had remembered Doc fondly and was very happy to give his opinion on Doc's patient. He cautioned that the brain is very delicate and that his arrival did not mean that Matt's condition would improve. He would be making his way west in the next couple of days.

The new Marshal had also arrived. Cody Lattimore was one of the youngest lawman in the territory. He was tall and thin with sandy brown hair, blazing blue eyes, and from all accounts very fast with a gun. He had a ready smile, even temperament, and loads of charm that made him very popular with the ladies. He was in Hays City when he got the word to continue on to Dodge. As he entered the Long Branch, Kitty was sitting at one of the tables sipping a cup of coffee deep in her thoughts.

"Excuse me ma'am," Cody gently nudged her shoulder. "Ma'am?" Kitty looked up into those piercing blue eyes and wondered if she was ever going to see Matt's blue eyes again.

"Are you OK?"

"Yes, I, uh, well, I was just daydreaming. Can I help you?"

"No help needed, I just wanted to introduce myself I'm Cody Lattimore."

"Well, Cody nice to meet you," as she extended her hand. "I'm Kitty Russell, I own the Long Branch. Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure, and, I would like to, uh, get some information."

"What type of information?"

"Oh, just to familiarize myself with the town. From what I'm told I might be here for a spell."

"A spell?"

"Yes, Miss Russell, I'm the new Marshal."

"Well, Cody I don't think I'm up for that conversation."

"I realize that Miss Russell and I'm sorry to hear that Matt was so badly hurt but your closeness to the Marshal makes you very important to someone like me who needs to learn what goes on in this town."

"I would rather not discuss my relationship with Matt."

"I understand perfectly and I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm afraid we got off on the wrong foot. Miss Russell, I would be honored if you would join me for dinner tonight. I think your first impression of me was not the one I wanted to make. Maybe I can make up for it in a more neutral setting."

"You caught me at a really bad time. Festus and Newly are the deputies and I believe they can give you the information you need to get by especially since you will only be here for a short time. Now, if you will excuse me?"

Kitty made her way up the stairs as Cody's eyes followed her until she had entered the hallway. She was a smart, beautiful, strong, independent woman, no doubt. Pity she is wasting her time on a dead man. Cody shook his head as he made his way to the Long Branch door. He turned back as his eyes again glanced upward. _The day will come Miss Russell when you'll want to be in my company, no, crave my company. I can be a comfort to a grieving widow in so many ways. I'm not ordinarily a patient man but I am more than willing to wait, for one day you will be mine._ Cody smiled as he made his way to the street.

Doc passed Cody as he was entering the Long Branch. He made his way to Kitty's room, "Hey, who was that long drink of water that passed me on my way in?"

"That is the new Marshal."

"Oh, the ladies are really gonna go for him, I'll tell ya."

"They can have him!"

"Kitty, do you know him?"

"No, he just introduced himself. He thought I would be a good source of information because of my relationship with Matt."

"Suppose that didn't go over very well."

"No, Doc it didn't. Then he had the audacity to ask me to dinner!"

"Matt, did you hear that? The new Marshal has been here for five minutes and already he is asking Kitty to dinner. If you know what's good for you, you'll open those eyes and take her off the market!"

"Oh, Doc, stop." Kitty playfully slapped his shoulder. "Isn't there some kind of doctoring you should be doing?"

"I'll get to it but I really came over to let you know that Dr. Jenkins has consented to come to Dodge. He will be leaving in a couple of days. Now, he doesn't want us to think that because he is coming here that means Matt will get well but he promised to do whatever he can."

"Doc, I hate to think he is our last chance but,"

"Now, Kitty, let's take it one step at a time. He's coming here so that's a good thing."

"I know, Doc,"

After Doc left, she sat staring at Matt as the tears started to flow. She climbed into bed and held him as she found comfort in his closeness. "Dr. Jenkins is going to come here Matt. That's the doctor I told you Doc met in Baltimore. He doesn't want us to get our hopes up though but he should be here in about a week. Oh, and don't believe Doc. I only have eyes for one Marshal in this town." She kissed him and continued to hold Matt close until eventually she fell asleep.

The bar downstairs was beginning to fill. Kitty should have felt refreshed after her nap but nothing she did recently made her feel right. "Matt, I'm going to go downstairs for a while and see if Sam needs any help. I'll be right back cowboy." Kitty kissed his lips and then made her way down to her office. When she opened the door Sam was locking away the first half of the day's receipts. "Need anything Miss Kitty?"

"The only thing I need right now Sam is Matt."

"I know, Doc told me that the doctor from Baltimore would be coming here soon. Maybe he'll bring good news."

"I don't know Sam. The longer Matt remains unconscious, well, it can't be good."

Kitty started to feel the tears so she turned to sit at her desk. "Well, Miss Kitty, at least we're having a pretty good business day so far."

Kitty didn't acknowledge Sam and knowing that she wasn't herself these days he closed the door and went back to the bar. She couldn't think about her business now. If she had all the money in the world it wouldn't mean as much to her as seeing Matt smile. She tried not to think about living her life without him but was she crazy to believe that one day he would be able to hold her again? She wasn't accomplishing much so she decided to make her way to her room.

Kitty approached the bar, "Sam, do you think Floyd can take over? I really would like to take a nice hot bath. Maybe that will get me in a better mood."

"It's worth a try, sure enough. I'll be up with the water directly."

As she made her way to the stairs she heard someone call her name. She turned to find Cody just entering the saloon.

"Miss Russell, can I buy you a drink? I'm sure you've had a very long day."

"Thank you Marshal but I was just on my way to my room."

"Do you mind if I pay my respects to Matt?

"That's not necessary but thank you."

"You really shouldn't shoulder this alone. If there is anything I can do."

"Thank you again, but I have so many people helping me I can't keep track as it is."

Sam came up behind Kitty and she noticed that he had the water for her bath. "Thanks, Sam, I'm right behind you. Good evening, Marshal."

Cody watched her every move as she made her ascent to the second floor. Festus passed Kitty on the stairs but he kept his eyes on Cody. Cody meanwhile was in a trance as the thought of her lying in a tub started to stir him.

"Evenin' Marshal, is there somethin' I's can get for you?"

Cody still hadn't released his eyes from Kitty. Festus turned the lawman around to face him. "Ifn' I was you I's mind my manners and finds some other woman to be all googaly eyes over. Miss Kitty, nows she's a fine woman and she's don'ts need no upstart youngin' comin' in here givin' her no more trouble."

"Festus, I'm only trying to help."

"In a pig's eye you are! I's see how you look at her."

"Can't I admire a beautiful woman?"

"Nots this woman you don't and I'll tell ya nother thing if ole Matthew was standing here right now and saw you ogling her that way, well,"

"Unfortunately he's not but I will admit she is something to get jealous over. Matt is surely a lucky man, yes sir, a very lucky man." Cody again looked up to the second floor landing. "How many days has it been? It can't be easy for her lying there night after night with someone who can't respond to her touch."

"You just keep a civil tongue when yous talk about her, you hear?"

"Loud and clear deputy, loud and clear. I think I'll have a drink before I make my rounds. Nice chatting with you Festus."

Newly looked up and smiled as she came down the hall. "I heard about the doctor comin'. I'm hopin' the Marshal will be as good as new in no time."

Kitty smiled as she touched his arm, "Newly, I certainly hope so. After Sam finishes drawing my bath I think I'll go to bed."

"Sure thing, have a good night."

Kitty closed her eyes and let the soothing warm waters caress her body. She could hear the crowd downstairs and felt guilty that Sam was shouldering the running of her business alone. When this was over she would have to do something real special for him. After she dried her body, she splashed on the rose water and reached for her finest silk nightgown. She climbed into bed and wrapped her arm around Matt as she whispered in his ear. "Cowboy," she held Matt's hand and guided it down the length of the silk. "You told me this was the best purchase I made in St. Louis, remember? Not that I had it on very long," Kitty smiled as her thoughts brought her back to that night. She tenderly kissed his lips then fell asleep with Matt's hand lying against the silk and their fingers entwined.

Sam was trying to keep up with the requests for drinks. He couldn't remember the last time it was so busy when there wasn't a drive up from Texas or a town celebration. Down at the end of the bar Burke was holding court with Grimes, Lathrop, and Halligan hanging on his every word.

"Yep, the doc from Baltimore should be gettin' here any day now."

"I guess Miss Kitty is happy."

"Well, not really." Burke turned to Lathrop. "See this doc said that they shouldn't expect too much just because he's comin'. Might be the Marshal never recovers."

"Oh, poor Miss Kitty."

"Yeah, I feel for her all right Halligan. Spending all this time with the Marshal and not having a home or any kids, well, it would be sad if it ended this way."

"Burke, how long do you think the Marshal will last if he doesn't come to?

"Who knows Grimes, but one thing I do know Miss Kitty will continue to nurse him, well, till the end."

"Sad, so very sad," as the men shook their heads in unison.

"And what about Festus, Newly, and the rest of the guys. They have to guard her room everyday. How long can that go on?"

Close by two cowboys couldn't help but overhead the conversation of the men at the end of the bar.

"Did you hear that?"

"What, about Dillon? Yeah, so what?"

"So what? He would have had me hung if Jackson hadn't stumbled upon us and knocked him cold. I've been trying to pay him back for a while now. This is my chance."

"Hey, wait a minute, is this why we really came to Dodge? I didn't sign on for no murder, you know."

"Don't you understand that doc will be coming here in a few days and Dillon might survive? If I don't get to him now, there might not be another chance. Besides, you won't be doin' the murder."

"You heard them there is a guard upstairs, how you gettin' into the room with him sittin' there?"

"Let me think on it a minute."

"Well, while you're thinkin' I'm gonna do some drinkin'; hey barkeep."

"Easy on the booze, boy. I need you clear headed if I'm gonna pull this off, you hear?"

"I still don't know if this is such a good idea. Let's just leave like we were gonna do, meet up with Diego and the boys and rob ourselves a bank. Dillon could be dead on his own tomorrow, why do you want to chance it?"

"Because I want to know he's dead and that I did it."

"You're crazy."

"Yeah, well I'm won't be too crazy when we have a tidy sum in our pockets and livin' it up in Mexico with all the food, drink, and women we can handle. One thing I don't want is to be sittin' in a Cantina worryin' that Dillon will come walkin' through the door. That man never loses a trail and he never gives up. That's why I have to kill him. Now leave me alone so's I can think."

"Sure thing Rance."

Mal let him be as he thought his way through a plan. He had a bad feeling about this but Rance was right. If Dillon recovered he wouldn't give up until both of them were brought to justice. Rance reached over to Mal. "Here's what we're gonna' do. I'm gonna' get my horse and leave it at the edge of town. I'll come back and grab that cute little lady over there, spend some money on her and ask if she'll take me upstairs. When you see me headin' up the stairs and go into the room I want you to start a fight."

"I'm not sure I like this plan, Rance."

"Once the fighting starts the deputy will make his way down the stairs, I'll come out of the room, walk in the room Dillon is in, and shoot him dead."

"What about his woman?"

"I'll shoot her too. Hearin' how they're talkin' about her she'll probably prefer it that way."

"How you gonna' get down?"

"Do you think this is the first time I've been upstairs?" There's a back staircase, by the time the deputy makes his way up the stairs I'll be long gone. Once they let you go, meet me at the cabin."

A couple of hours later, Rance and Gert made their way up the stairs as Mal watched. Once the door closed Mal fell into the cowboy next to him.

"Hey, watch what ya doin'."

Mal raised his hand and in his best slurred voice, "Sorry pal, sorry. I guess I just had too much to drink."

"Then why don't you go home?"

"What, you're not enjoyin' my company?" Mal ran his hand down the man's arm.

"You best be gettin' your hand off me friend."

"Sorry, sorry, hey barkeep, give this man another drink, on me."

"I don't want your drink."

"Oh, now you're insulting me?"

"No, I just want you to leave me be."

"Can't do that until you have a drink with me."

"I know one way you'll leave me alone."

"How's that?"

A fist ran across Mal's face and slammed him into the bar. He knew this was a bad idea. He got his bearings and gave the cowboy a right to the stomach and a left to the chin. From there Mal had no idea what happened next. Everyone started joining in and he was hoping that the deputy would come down soon so Rance could finish the job and they both could get out of Dodge.

Hearing the commotion downstairs Newly ran passed the door as Rance watched. "What's ya doin' over there?"

"Honey, I just want to see what's goin' on. My friend is still at the bar and he might need help. I promise I will be back in a minute."

"Don't be long, sugar."

Rance carefully opened the door and made a left down the hall. He had been in almost every room on the second floor, except one. That had to be the saloon owner's. He slowly opened the door. A sliver of light made its way into the room. Rance could see Matt lying perfectly still. As he approached the bed he raised his gun and aimed it straight at Matt's head. As he clicked back the hammer a shot rang out and hit him in the shoulder. He winced and turned toward the flash. As he did, another shot rang out and hit him squarely in the chest. He fell back against the wall and made his slow descent to the floor.

Newly heard Kitty scream and quickly ran to her. She was sitting up in bed screaming Matt's name as he grabbed her shoulders. "Miss Kitty, Miss Kitty."

"Newly, he's over there. He was going to kill Matt. I shot him, I had to save Matt."

"No one is over there, Miss Kitty. You're in your bed. I think you were having a bad dream. Look," Newly turned on the light. "See?"

Kitty looked around the room. Everything was in its place. Kitty took a deep breath and looked down to discover her blanket no longer covered her thin strapped, very revealing, silk gown. She quickly brought the blanket up to her neck as Newly just as quickly looked away.

"Um, sorry, um, I didn't, um."

Kitty smiled, "It's OK Newly. I appreciate you being here."

"You want me to get Doc?

"No, I'll be all right now. Besides it will be daybreak soon, I might as well get up."

"Yes, ma'am."

Newly closed the door behind him and resumed his post but he knew the memory of that nightgown would stay with him forever.

Kitty looked over at Matt. In all her screaming and tossing he hadn't moved. She leaned over and kissed him then she started to laugh. "Matt, you should have seen Newly's face. Poor boy, he didn't know where to turn." She took his hand and kissed it as she held it to her breast. "I love you Matt with all my heart. I know one day you will hear me say it."

Kitty released his hand and made her way into the next room. The sun was starting to make its way through her windows. For some reason she had an appetite today and she thought breakfast at Delmonico's was in order. Maybe she would stop and pick up Doc. She quickly dressed for the day, kissed Matt goodbye, and hurried through the door. In the silence that followed a hand slowly moved across the sheets.


	5. Awakening

Kitty made her way down the boardwalk and up the stairs to Doc Adams's office. As she opened the door, she looked around the room, "Doc?"

"I'm in here Kitty, I'll be right out.

Doc emerged from the back room with towel in hand. "My, you're up very early today, you feeling OK?" Doc reached over to touch her forehead and Kitty playfully pushed away his hand. "I'm fine. I woke up wanting breakfast this morning so I'm buying if you care to join me."

"Hmm, free breakfast and accompanied by a beautiful lady, how can I resist? Be with you in a moment."

They made their way down the stairs and walked along the boardwalk to Delmonico's. As they were entering the restaurant, Cody was leaving. He tipped his hat at he stared at Kitty. "Beautiful morning wouldn't you say ma'am? Hello, doctor. It looks like my timing was a little off today."

Doc watched as the new Marshal never took his eyes off Kitty. "Did you say your timing?"

"Why, yes, doctor. If I had only waited a few minutes it would have been my privilege to have breakfast with this fascinating woman."

"Well, that's how I feel everyday, privileged." Doc grabbed Kitty's arm and walked in eye view of Cody. "Now, if you will excuse us."

As they made their way to the table Kitty turned to Doc. "Oh, he just, well, he just," Doc pulled out Kitty's chair, "I'll say you certainly have an admirer. I think he's quite smitten with you."

"That's all I need now is some love sick cowboy trailing after me."

"Mighty handsome too. From what I hear he's an up and comer with the folks in Washington."

"Well good for him. I'm sure he'll make some woman very happy someday."

Doc smiled, "Don't let him get to you."

"That's easier said than done. I don't know he just gives me the creeps." Doc patted her hand as Joe came over to take their order.

After breakfast Doc started towards his office, "I'll be along in a minute Kitty I just want to get my bag." As Kitty entered the Long Branch, she nodded to Sam and motioned that she was going to her room. She found Festus sitting in the hall.

"Good morning Festus."

"Mornin' Miss Kitty. How's Matthew this mornin'?"

"Still the same."

"Once this here doctor comes I knows Matthew'll perk up."

"Sure Festus. I'll talk with you later."

Kitty leaned over Matt and gave him a kiss. "I had such a wonderful breakfast this morning with Doc. It really was great getting out and," she stopped as she noticed Matt's arm was up on her pillow. She ran to the door.

"Festus, were you in here talking to Matt?"

"No, Miss Kitty, I's been sittin' here the whole time."

"What about Newly? Do you think he might have come in to talk to Matt?"

"I's can'ts be sure but I's don'ts think so."

Doc arrived in the middle of their conversation. "What seems to be the matter Kitty?"

"Doc, come with me." As they approached the bed she pointed out that Matt's arm was resting on her pillow.

"Doc, I came back from breakfast and his arm was up there. Doc, he moved, Doc, he's coming,"

"Now, hold on a minute Kitty. Let's not jump to any conclusions before we know for sure what happened."

"But Doc, his hand moved!"

"Kitty, I know you want to believe that this is good news and so do I, but unless Matt opens his eyes and starts to talk, well, all we can do is hope."

"He was reaching out for me Doc I just know it."

"Michael will be the judge of that. Now, just sit over here while I examine him."

Doc continued his examination of Matt while Kitty sat in the chair and watched. She understood what Doc was saying but she also knew in her heart he was trying to come back to her. After Doc left, she undressed and got in bed with Matt. She was still tired after breakfast but truthfully she wanted to be near him in case he moved again. She lay close to him, leg slung over his, head placed under his chin. She closed her eyes and quickly drifted back to sleep. When she awoke the room was dark. She couldn't believe she slept the whole day away. By the crowd noise downstairs it certainly sounded like they were having another good night but she didn't have the energy to go down and play hostess. She stared up at the ceiling waiting until it was quiet before she made her way down to the bar. Kitty looked over at Sam. The exhaustion was starting to show on his face as he went to close the doors of the Long Branch.

"Sam, I'll lock up, why don't you go home and get a good night's rest.

"You sure Miss Kitty? Won't take but a minute."

"I'm sure. Now, go on, get out of here and sleep a little later tomorrow. I'll open up."

"Night, Miss Kitty."

"Night, Sam."

She locked the doors and was pouring herself a drink when she heard a knock on the door. She smiled thinking Sam had probably forgotten something only to find Cody standing in the doorway.

"Evenin' Miss Russell. Just doing my rounds thought I'd come in for a nightcap, little chilly tonight."

"The bar is closed, maybe tomorrow during business hours." Kitty tried to close the door.

"Miss Russell, I don't know why you hate me so."

"Personally, I don't have any feelings for you one way or the other."

"Then it can't hurt if we have one drink and a little conversation, can it?"

Against her better judgment she opened the door to allow Cody entry. He followed her to the bar. "Help yourself."

He poured his drink and then refilled hers.

"How's Matt doing?"

"Much the same I'm afraid."

"I do hope he'll be all right."

"Thank you, so do I."

"You know, I always wanted to meet Matt because I've heard so much about him. He has quite the reputation and it would be an honor to talk with him, I could learn so much."

Kitty stood quiet in her thoughts. She sipped her drink as Cody continued. "Yes sir, this town wouldn't be what it is today without Matthew Dillon. It would be a privilege to shake his hand."

Kitty turned and smiled. Maybe it was the drink but he sensed she might be warming up to him. "How long have you been here, Miss Russell?

With head down Kitty smiled and shook her head. "Eighteen years."

"So you came shortly after Matt?"

"So, I've heard."

"Well, you certainly have a wonderful place here. The finest in this town, maybe even the county, that's for sure."

"Thank you again."

"I guess running this place is a full time job, not much time for anything else."

"What's your meaning?"

"Maybe it is just my youth talking here but most women would have gotten married and had a couple of kids by now."

"I think it might be time for you to leave."

"I'm sorry, finish your drink. I didn't mean to pry." He reached out his hand to touch her arm as he whispered. "It's just that you are such a remarkable woman, strong, smart, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Kitty didn't answer. She had closed her eyes for a minute imagining Matt whispering in her ear. Cody moved a little closer to her, "I believe you could have had it all, the business, the husband, and the kids. You're such a special lady." Kitty could feel this strong presence next to her as Cody was delighted by her lack of resistance. He gently moved his finger up to the topside of her neck and ran it down to the tip of her shoulder. She moved a little closer to him as he ran his hand down the length of her back. He made his way behind her and he could feel her lean into him as he ran both his hands up to cup her breasts as he gently kissed her neck. "You are so beautiful." Cody whispered. "I know you need me." With every movement, Cody could feel she was becoming more and more his. Kitty's need for Matt overtook her as she imagined his hands on her body again. She let out a soft moan, "Oh, Matt," Cody just smiled. She opened her eyes as Cody turned her towards him. She pulled away from his grasp.

"I think you better go, Marshal."

"Sorry, ma'am but I thought you wanted,"

"Get out!"

Cody headed for the door. He looked back to still see the rage in her eyes. After she locked the door, she went back to the bar, grabbed the glass and downed the remaining liquid. Her thoughts drifted to those nights when Matt would begin their foreplay in the dim light of closing. Just then a wave of emotion overtook her and she started to cry, deep sobbing cries. After she composed herself, she made her way to the stairs. She took a deep breath as she climbed to the second floor landing.

"How are you tonight, Newly?"

"Fine ma'am, just fine."

"Are you OK?"

"I am now. I needed a good cry, I guess."

"Miss Kitty, if anyone has a need to, well,"

She reached over and hugged him. "I hope the doctor gets here quick. I can't stand this not knowing."

"Yes, ma'am."

As Kitty opened her door, Newly felt so much compassion for her. He remembered the first day they met and how strong she was with Manez and his boys, almost to the point of defiance. _Boy, she sure kept that Marshal card close to her vest, didn't she?_ Newly shook his head and started to laugh.

Kitty walked through the threshold of her room and into the bedroom area to remove her dress. She hung the dress and started to undo her corset, "If you're going to undress you better give me more light so I can watch." Kitty froze as the corset dropped to the floor. She went to her nightstand and slowly turned the knob. As the light illuminated the room, "Hmm, you look a little thinner than I remember but you are still the most beautiful woman in the world." She watched him as he raised his arm, "honey, come here and let me touch you again." Kitty made her way to the bed and got under the covers. He pulled her closer to him and ran his hand down the front of her body. "I love you Kitty."

"Oh, Matt." She reached for his lips and kissed him. Their mouths danced in a rhythmic motion until they both needed to take a deep breath. "Matt, maybe you shouldn't be moving around so much and wait until you see Doc."

"Not a chance."

"Still, why don't we make sure and wait for Doc."

"Oh, so he can tell me I can't have you near me for weeks? No thanks, I'll take my chances."

"Maybe I won't. Matt, do you have any idea what I've been through this past week?"

"I know, but, uh, um, you started something here and I'm a little uncomfortable.

"Well, that's what you get for scaring me half to death!"

"So, uh, I guess, uh, you're not going to help me here with this problem I have? Matt pulled the covers off his body.

"As tempting as that is, I think it's best to wait for Doc to say it's OK. After that, believe me, you'll never have a problem again!"

Matt frowned, "Can't convince you, huh?

"No, cowboy, now get your mind on other things."

"Not easy when you're lying next to me." Kitty started to move. "Where you going?"

"Taking away the temptation."

"OK, you win, I'll lie still.

He held her close so happy she was in his arms again. He rubbed her back and kissed her neck until she fell to sleep. "Good night, Kitty." He closed his eyes but he felt Kitty's body move. He opened them to see she was in the process of rising over him, "Matthew Dillon, you're impossible!" She quickly straddled his body, "and if you tell Doc about any of this," Matt just smiled as Kitty took complete control. She laid back on the bed as Matt leaned over and wiped the sweet beads that were slowly making their way down her body. He kissed her and pulled her into his arms. As they lay drifting off to sleep Matt whispered, "thank you, problem solved."

Kitty awoke and looked over at a sleeping Matt. As she leaned to get out of bed a huge hand grabbed her and brought her closer to him. "Mornin'."

"Matt,"

"What? I just said mornin'."

"Yeah, but I know how that mornin' is going to end."

"I didn't hear any complaints last night. In fact, if I recall, you led the charge."

"Yeah, well, let's forget about that for now."

"Not easy,"

"Well, try!"

Kitty left the bed as Matt's eyes followed her every move. He would do whatever she wanted if it meant that he would finally take her to Spring Creek. He had big plans for that day and,

"Kitty?"

"Yes."

"What did you do with my clothes?"

"Matt, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to clean them, well, your jacket and pants anyway. I had to throw the shirt out. Why?"

"No reason, just wanted to know where they were."

"In fact, let me take them with me when I go to see,"

"No!"

"Matt, what's wrong?"

"Um, uh, I'm not going to need them right away so leave them here. I'll do that later."

"Matt, it's no trouble."

"Kitty, please leave the clothes for later, OK?"

She looked at Matt. She could read him like a book but at the moment she didn't have time to decipher the message she needed to get to Doc's. "I'll be back with Doc," She kissed him as she left the room.

He waited for a while and then slowly made his way out of bed. His head hurt terribly and he hoped he wasn't doing more damage. He smiled thinking how mad she would be it he was. He made it to his jacket and took a deep breath as he reached into his pocket. Happy the box was still there, he looked around the room for a hiding place. He opened his armoire and noticed an extra pair of boots so he bent down and placed the box in the boot. As he stood, he became so dizzy he thought he was going to fall. Afraid that Kitty would return and find him unconscious on the floor, he held the doors on the armoire for dear life until he got his bearings. He carefully made his way back to the bed and was very grateful when his head hit the pillow.

Doc came into the room first, "Well, you don't look any the worse for wear."

"I'm glad to see you too, Doc."

Kitty stood next to Doc as he began to examine Matt. He first noticed the bare chest and then he lifted the blanket to find not a stitch of clothing on his patient. He looked over at Kitty, then at Matt. Matt met his glare with a small smile. "I don't believe it, I just don't believe it! Not hours after gaining consciousness you're right back at it. And you, young lady, well, I thought that, well, you'd have more sense!" Kitty had to look away as she put her hand over her face to stifle her laugh. Doc turned away from Kitty to face Matt as he too had a huge grin "Doc, if it'll make you feel any better, I really didn't move around much."

Doc raised his hand, "I really don't need to know all the sordid details. I'm your doctor not your confessor."

Matt remained very patient as Doc checked his vital signs. "Doc, so when do you think I can get up and start movin' around?"

"I'd advise you to stay in bed until Dr. Jenkins comes here. From what I've seen today, I doubt staying in bed will pose much of an imposition!" Doc started to close his bag, "Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go see some sensible patients."

As Doc made his way to the door he turned back to Matt. "And for heaven's sake when Michael comes here make sure you have some clothes on!"

"Don't worry Doc I'll make sure my nurse dresses me before she starts her day." As Doc closed the door Kitty sat next to Matt as he circled her waist with his arms. "Nurse Russell do you have any time today to give me a sponge bath?"

"As long as it's for strictly medicinal purposes, you heard the doctor."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to do anything that the doctor didn't approve of."

"Then in that case, will excuse me?" Kitty left the room and returned in her silk nightgown. Matt pulled the blanket back so Kitty could get under the covers. He ran his hand up and down the silk. "St. Louis?"

"Uh, huh."

"I only hope I can repeat that perfor," Kitty stopped him in mid sentence with a kiss. He slowly removed the straps on her gown and pulled her on top of him so he could gradually release her body from the garment. He ran his hands up her soft skin as Kitty let out with a faint moan. He lay her down and his mouth worked its way over every inch of her body as she writhed in eager anticipation. "Matt, please, I need you." He could feel her readiness and lifted his body over her when a sharp pain shot through his head. He fell back on the pillow, eyes closed, his breathing very labored.

"Matt, what's wrong?" He didn't answer, "I'll go get Doc."

He grabbed her arm, "No, I'll be all right, just let me lie here a moment." She ran her fingers gently through his hair until his eyes opened. "You gave me a scare cowboy, you sure you're all right?"

"I'm better now, just lie down next to me and let me hold you."

"Matt, I still think I should go get Doc."

"No, Kitty, he'll just tell us how irresponsible we are." Matt smiled, "knowing Doc he'll probably keep you under guard at the Dodge House to teach us both a lesson."

"Matt, it was too soon. We just got lucky last night."

"Kitty, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about Matt. You were seriously hurt."

Matt rubbed her arm, "are you all right?"

"I'm laying in the arms of the man I love and looking into those beautiful blue eyes what else could I possibly need?"

"A man who could make love to you."

"Matt, you just need time to heal. Besides, cowboy, it was your head that was the problem not any other part of your anatomy. That was working just fine." Kitty smiled as she looked into his eyes but those eyes still seemed to be very troubled.

The next morning Dr. Michael Jenkins arrived in Dodge. He was a young man in his early thirties, tall, with black hair, and sparkling green eyes. He was earning quite a reputation at John Hopkins mostly due to his unyielding dedication to medicine. As he stepped off the train he took a deep breath as he looked around. Dodge was not Baltimore but he viewed this trip as a great adventure. He grabbed his bag and started towards town. As he passed building after building he had a new found respect for Galen Adams. Doc and Newly were just finishing breakfast at Delmonico's when Doc looked up and saw Dr. Jenkins passing the doorway. "Michael, Michael," The doctor turned to see Doc approaching him. "Am I glad to see you, have you had breakfast yet?"

"Galen, it is so good to see you again. No, I haven't and I am starving."

"Well then, come on and join us." He stepped aside to allow Michael entry and brought him to the table as Newly started to stand. "Michael, I want you to meet Newly O'Brien, our gunsmith and deputy."

Newly extended his hand. "Nice to meet you sir, Doc has told us so much about you."

"I only hope that I can live up to those generous words. So, Galen how is your patient?"

"Well, the good news is he has regained consciousness."

"That is good news maybe you won't need me after all."

"Well now, I would still like you to examine him but he'll be very anxious to resume his duties so you'll have to be very firm."

"Of course, I wouldn't allow a patient to do more harm to himself, no matter what his protestations were."

"I knew you would feel that way." After breakfast, Doc walked Michael to the Dodge House. "Michael, why don't you get settled and I'll check in on Matt to make sure we're not interrupting anything."

"Interrupting?" Michael looked confused.

Doc let out with a little cough, "Yes, you see, our Marshal might be flat on his back but he has this deep seeded need to do a job until he is totally satisfied that he has performed up to his expectations."

"Sounds like a very dedicated man."

"Oh, that he is. Wait to you see how dedicated! Now, what time should I pick you up?"

"Well, I would like to get a little rest. Say, three o'clock?"

"Three o'clock it is."

Doc left the Dodge House and headed over to the Long Branch. He waved to Sam and made his way to Kitty's room. He knocked on the door and Kitty came to meet him. "How's our patient today?"

"He's still awake if that's what you mean." She made her way over to a chair in the outer room. Doc had known her too long to not notice something was wrong. He sat down next to her and put his hand over hers. "Honey, what's wrong? Matt have a bad night?"

"He's just worried Doc, that's all."

"Worried about what?"

"Being a man."

"Let's start this conversation over OK? What happened?"

"Doc, I know this will upset you but after you left yesterday, well, we, well, we really needed each other."

"Didn't have enough the night before?"

Kitty shot him a look. Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache. "Then what Kitty?"

"He was moving up over me and he got this sharp pain in his head. He fell quickly to the bed and needed a couple of minutes before the pain went away. Now he's convinced that he is not going to be able to do anything again, even make love to me."

Doc patted her hand. "I just left Michael at the Dodge House. He is going to rest up and I'll pick him up at three today and bring him over here. In the meantime, let's go in and see how he's doing."

Matt was propped up on two pillows with arms folded staring into space. Doc walked over took one look at him and smiled, "Well, I see you're dressed today unless," Doc grabbed at the covers but Matt stopped him. "I'm dressed there too!"

"What's this about you getting shooting pains in your head?"

"Only when I move."

"Well, what did I tell you about moving?"

"Doc, I'm not in the mood for any lectures from you."

Doc motioned to Kitty to go into the other room. Once they were alone, "Matt what's troubling you?"

"Oh, nothing Doc, what could be wrong? I'm lying here in bed, I can't walk, I can't ride, I can't work, I can't, well, I can't be with Kitty. I can only lie flat on my back."

"I know you're frustrated Matt but,"

"Doc, what kind of man am I if I can't even lift my head to love the most precious person in my life?"

"Matt, now, you know Kitty, she loves you."

"For how long Doc before she misses what we had?"

"You're not thinking clearly, that's foolish talk."

"Is it?

"Now, you listen to me, do I have to remind you how many nights Kitty has slept alone worrying about you but that never stopped you from leaving her. No, you did what you wanted to do when you wanted to do it. You never gave one thought to how she felt, and I don't want to hear this nonsense about your job either." Matt stared at Doc. "Why all of a sudden are you so worried about Kitty missing what you had or is it that you are worrying about yourself, that you'll miss it? Is that what is really troubling you, Matt?

"I've always taken care of Kitty."

"Sure, while you're here but did you ever gave it a second thought when you had to go off and play lawman. Did you ever think about her needs then?"

"Well, I'm not perfect."

"Oh, you don't even come close!" Doc started to leave. "Oh, and by the way, Michael is in Dodge. I'll pick him up around three." Doc made his way into the next room. Kitty smiled, "You were a little rough on him in there, Curly."

"Sometimes stubborn men have to be told too!"

Kitty closed the door and made her way into the next room. She sat down on the bed next to Matt. "Kitty I'm sorry."

"For what, cowboy?"

"Bein' a fool."

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Kitty, I'm not your brother."

"For now, you are. The doctor will be over here this afternoon and hopefully he'll give us good news and then,"

"What if he doesn't?"

"We'll work around that somehow."

"The thought of never being able to show you,"

"Shhh, I don't want you to think about this anymore. Let's wait and see what the doctor says OK?"

"Kitty, I love you." Matt squeezed her hand. He then gently started to rub her thigh but she stopped his hand. "Let's wait for the doctor, OK?"

Kitty met the two doctors at her door. Michael was very anxious to meet Matt Dillon after his introduction to Kitty. He must be a very special man if he has such a beautiful woman as his caretaker. He followed her into the next room and smiled remembering Doc's interrupting comment. Everything was starting to fall into place. Matt was still sitting and staring when Michael entered the room.

"Matt, I would like you to meet Dr. Michael Jenkins."

Michael extended his hand and Matt shook it firmly. "This is a very good sign Marshal the accident hasn't affected your handshake."

He proceeded to exam Matt as Doc and Kitty went into the other room. "Doc Adams mentioned that you have a shooting pain in your head when you start to rise?"

"Yes, but I'm sure over time I'll,"

"Who's the doctor here Marshal? Now, let me look at you."

Matt remained quiet as Michael prodded and probed his body. "Tell me Marshal, would you say in your line of work your head gets hit quite often?"

"Fair amount."

"Has Doc Adams every mentioned concussion to you?"

"He might have."

"And yet you still feel the need to be Marshal? Has he ever explained to you what dangers repeated blows to the head can cause?"

"Probably."

Michael smiled, "You are a rare individual, that's for sure Marshal."

"Am I going to be all right?"

"At this point, it's hard to say. The next couple of weeks are critical. I'd advise you to rest, restrict your movements, and enjoy the company of that beautiful redhead in the next room."

"Doc, I have a town to run,"

"Galen warned me you might be stubborn on this issue. Marshal all I can say is if you don't do what I prescribed the next blow on your head may be your last. Now, I'm going to stay in town for the next couple of weeks to monitor your progress but you have to work with me and do as I ask." As Michael made his way into the other room he turned back to Matt. "Oh, and Marshal, if I had someone like Miss Russell taking care of me I would prolong my convalescence as long as possible."

The three made their way down to a table by the bar. Sam brought them a bottle of Kitty's Napoleon brandy and three glasses. Michael told them what he had just told Matt. "Well, Lord knows I tried many times to tell him the same thing but he thinks he's invincible."

Michael laughed, "All men think that Galen I wouldn't respect a man if he didn't."

"Doctor, what if Matt,"

"Please Miss Russell call me Michael."

"All right Michael, only if you call me Kitty."

"Deal, now what was the question you had?"

"What if Matt recovers this time with no ill effects and continues being Marshal? Is he still in danger if he has a blow to the head again?

"I really can't answer that. Could be his brain will heal enough that another blow won't make a difference but continual blows in a short period of time, well, if it doesn't kill him," Michael paused a moment, "well, my short visit with the Marshal has told me he would rather be dead."

Kitty took a quick and sudden deep breath. "Are you all right, Kitty?"

"Yes, Michael, I'm fine."

"Galen, do you feel like some dinner? Oh, and Kitty, you are welcome to come along if you like."

"Thank you but I think I'll have dinner in my room tonight."

"Of course," Michael jumped up and helped Kitty with her chair. He took her hands in his, "it was a pleasure Kitty, oh, and excellent brandy. I guess we'll be seeing each other quite often in the next couple of weeks."

"I suppose so."

"Kitty, I do hope the Marshal responds and is back on his feet soon."

"Thank you Michael, I'll see you later."

As the two men made their way down the boardwalk to Delmonico's, Michael turned to Doc. "You know Galen, the love of a good woman is a rare thing and it bothers me when men can't see how very lucky they are." Michael shrugged, "oh, well, are you hungry?" Doc nodded and let Michael enter through the doorway first. The inference was not lost on Doc he just hoped it wasn't going to cause more problems for his two good friends.

Kitty entered her room and sat down on the bed next to Matt. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Matt, Michael seems encouraged. I really think he feels you'll be up on your feet in the next couple of weeks."

"And what if I'm not?"

"Matt, let's not think that way."

"Kitty, but what if I'm not? What if the only thing I can do is lay in bed for the rest of my life?"

"Oh, Matt, it's not going to come to that."

"But what if it does? Are you prepared to take care of an invalid for the rest of your life?

"Yes!"

"Kitty, I can't let you do that. I can't have you stay with me out of obligation." Matt paused as he looked down at his hands. "I've been thinking, maybe it's better if I move over to the Dodge House. You can get on with your life and I can get on with mine."

"Obligation? Do you really believe I have stayed with you all these years out of obligation? What have you ever done for me that would make you think I should feel obligated to you? You think sneaking up here in the middle of the night after you've been gone for weeks makes up for all the missed birthdays, holidays, anniversaries? Those occasions I so wanted to share with you instead I was alone waiting to hear your footsteps on the stairs or worse worrying that you may never return. Matt, I know that you made it very clear many years ago that your job is the most important part of your life, and I accepted that, but I always believed that somewhere in here," Kitty pointed to his heart, "that you could find a place for me. Instead I feel like I'm just a body that's kept you warm at night, someone who satisfied your basic human need." Kitty gave out a little laugh, "I should be obligated to you for that? Let me tell you something mister, if that's what I wanted I could go downstairs right now and have any man I want, including the new Marshal, but I don't and you know why? Because I love you Matt, I love you with my whole heart and soul from the moment I stepped off that stage. You are my life Matt if anything happened to you I couldn't go on living. I realize now that I have loved a man who is incapable of loving, I mean, a love you feel deep inside your very soul. I had hoped that one day you would become that man Matt, but I see I was wrong. Little did I know that this relationship was based on obligation!" Kitty paused for a moment, "Matt, you don't have to move over to the Dodge House you can stay here. I have other rooms I can stay in. I'll let Festus and Newly know that they are in charge now. Let them feel obligated to you, I'm through." She got off the bed and started for the door. Matt grabbed her arm, "Kitty?"

"Matt, I don't think we need to say anything else to each other."

"Well, I do."

"I don't care to hear it," in one quick move she released her arm from Matt's grip and made her way out of the room.

"Kitty, wait, I," his words were lost with the sound of a slamming door.


	6. Want A Life With You

Festus was dosing outside Kitty's room when he heard what he thought sounded like a gunshot. He jumped to his feet, gun drawn, when Kitty stormed passed him. "Miss Kitty everythin' all right?" Kitty was on her way down the stairs before Festus finished his sentence. Sam watched as she hurried to the first floor and made a beeline for her office. He had come to know when she was in this state it was best to leave her alone. She slammed the side door, then her office door. He looked up to see Festus leaning over the second floor railing.

"Is she all right, Sam?

"Oh I'm sure she is, just seems a little upset, is all."

"Maybe Matthew knows."

Sam wanted to tell Festus that talking to the Marshal wasn't a very good idea. There is only one person on earth that can put Kitty Russell in this type of mood and that is Matthew Dillon and Sam was pretty sure the Marshal wouldn't want to discuss it. Doc and Michael had finished eating and decided to come to the Long Branch for an after dinner drink. They made their way over to the bar. "Kitty still upstairs, Sam?"

"Uh, um, I'm not sure Doc. Why don't you go over to a table and I'll bring you a couple of drinks."

As they sat down Doc turned to Michael, "Why don't I go up and see if Kitty would like to join us. Excuse me Michael?"

"Sure Galen, to spend a few more moments with Kitty would be my pleasure."

Sam noticed Doc making his way to the stairs. It was bad enough that Festus was probably grilling the Marshal he didn't think Doc would help the situation. "Doc, can I see you a minute?" Doc made his way over to the bar. "What is it Sam?"

"Miss Kitty isn't upstairs."

"Well, why in thunder didn't you say so when," Sam motioned for Doc to lower his voice.

"She's in her office, but Doc, she is plenty mad."

"What happened?

"All I know is she came down here madder than I've ever seen her before." Doc thought a minute. "Maybe I will go up and speak with Matt anyway."

"I think Festus is up there with him now."

"Oh, for heaven's sake that's the last person he needs to be talking to!" Doc looked over at Michael. He feared this type of news might please him immensely. He made his way back to the table. "Seems like Kitty is in her office, Sam just forgot. I'll be right back."

"I'll be here Galen." He watched Doc walk towards the side door and smiled knowing in a few minutes he would be looking into those captivating eyes.

Matt heard the door open and waited for those footsteps he always longed to hear instead he heard the jangling of spurs. "Matthew, I's just saw Miss Kitty runnin' down them stairs ifn' her dress was on fire. Everythin' all right?"

Matt, arms still folded, clenched his teeth. "Everything is just fine, Festus, just fine."

"Pardon me sayin' this but you's don'ts look fine."

"No? And just when everything was going so right!"

"Is there anythin' I's can do for ya?"

"Unless you have some magic elixir that can cure this head I would have to say no."

"Hads a fight did ya?"

"Festus, don't you have something else to do besides poking around in my private life?"

"Don'ts mean anythin' by it Matthew. I's just don'ts like to see you and Miss Kitty at odds, is all."

"I appreciate that Festus but, well, I just don't want to discuss it."

"OK, Matthew. I'll be right outside ifn you needs me."

"Thanks Festus."

Doc knocked on Kitty's office door before he slowly opened it. He saw Kitty sitting at her desk drinking a brandy staring straight ahead. He moved closer to her, grabbed a chair, and sat down. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

Doc wiped his moustache, "Kitty I don't know what Matt did this time to upset you so but you have to realize he's scared. He's scared that his life is never going to be the same. The thought that he will not be the man he was scares him."

"A new man can only be an improvement!"

"You don't mean that and you know it. Kitty he doesn't know what he is saying. His mind is all muddled right now. He is trying to figure out a lot of things."

"Stop making excuses for him Doc."

"I'm not making excuses I'm only trying to make some sense out of it; not only for you but also for me. Honey, I know how much you love him and I know that he knows it. He just needs time."

"But does he love me the same way Doc?"

"I believe so. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it to you, but I think he does."

"I've lived my whole life with him on maybes Doc. I really don't know how many more maybes I can take."

"Kitty, you know for years I had hoped that he would come to his senses and realize what was most important in his life but you said it yourself Matt is Matt."

Kitty sighed, "He told me to get on with my life."

"What?"

"He thinks he is going to be an invalid and he doesn't want me to be with him; thinks I'd be staying with him out of obligation."

Doc shook his head. "Kitty, he's not himself, I think you know that."

"No, I don't. Doc, what frightens him is that he will never be able to pin that badge on his chest again. He doesn't care about starting a new chapter in his life with me. He wouldn't be trying to push me away if he did. No, Doc, it's pinning that damn badge on his chest again, that's what is most important to him. He wouldn't feel alive unless he was out on the plains running down some outlaw or another. That's what he loves to do. His life would never be complete if he was only my husband and the father to our kids."

"Kitty, I really don't know what to say."

"Doc, I appreciate everything you've tried to do but I have to face it the badge is his one true love. Do you think that he would be this upset if Michael told him the only thing he could not do was make love to me again? Doc didn't have an answer he only could look into those sad blue eyes and wish there was something he could do to take away the pain. He took her hands in his and rubbed the top with his thumbs. "Why don't we give him some time to really think all of this through? I'm sure he is sitting upstairs right now wishing whatever he said he could take back."

"Doc, I've had eighteen years of apologies. I can't live on them anymore. I've been sitting here asking myself what more does he need? I love him more than life itself but I have nothing to show for it. I keep thinking if only I had gotten back on the stage that morning I might have fallen in love with someone who deserves my love."

"Now, Kitty, stop torturing yourself. What's done is done." Doc paused and tugged on his ear. "Do you still love him?"

"Doc, I will always love him."

"Then let's give him some more time."

"I can't anymore Doc. He wants me to move on, so I'm going to move on."

"Once everything is back to normal both of you will think differently."

"Not this time Doc. The time when he needed me most he turned me away. If he really loved me he would want me there with him like I wanted him with me after Jude Bonner."

Doc knew he was fighting a losing battle. He sat for a minute in silence trying to find the right thing to say that would make her change her mind but nothing came. As he was leaving the room he turned to Kitty, "Michael and I are going to be sitting outside having a drink. If you feel up to it why don't you join us?"

Kitty didn't answer so Doc left her office and made his way back to Michael. "Was Kitty there?"

"Yes, she was, but she has so much paper work. Matt has taken a lot of her time lately so she needs to catch up on the bills."

"Ah, yes, the Marshal." Michael sipped his drink, "one lucky man."

"Well, he certainly doesn't look at it that way."

"That's because he hasn't viewed this as an opportunity to re-evaluate his life. How long has he been a lawman?"

"Oh, I don't know twenty some odd years."

"Precisely, does he really need to continue to take additional chances with his life especially when he has such a lovely lady to spend his days with?"

Doc took a sip of his brandy. He had just been though this with Kitty and wasn't up for another round of evaluating Matt Dillon. "I guess when it's in your blood it's hard to give it up."

"Pity when he has," Doc looked up when Michael stopped in mid-sentence. He knew just by looking in his eyes who was approaching their table.

"Kitty, I'm so glad you were able to join us. Galen was telling me that you were so far behind with the books." Michael stood to pull out a chair.

"Yes, I have been busy with other things lately but I shouldn't be in the future so I can finally run my business."

Doc shot her a look which didn't escape Michael's notice. "Kitty, I'm not sure what time in the morning you rise but I would love to take you to breakfast tomorrow."

"Michael, I would love that. What time would you like to meet, I'm pretty open."

"I thought I would check in on the Marshal first, say, eight-thirty?"

"When you finish with Matt, knock on the door across the hall."

"Oh, I was under the impression that,"

"We were together?" Kitty let out with a little laugh. "A lot of people had that impression; believe me Michael it couldn't be further from the truth."

"I will pick you up tomorrow morning then."

"Fine, now if you gentlemen will excuse me it's been a long day."

They both rose out of their chairs and watched her climb the stairs until she reached the second floor landing. "Quite a woman Galen, yes sir, quite a woman."

Kitty opened the door to her room. As she entered the bedroom she noticed Newly sitting with Matt. The conversation stopped as she collected a few items to bring into the other room. "Newly, Matt."

Newly stood, "Miss Kitty," Matt remained silent. She gathered up her things and as she was leaving she laid her free hand on Newly's shoulder. "It's your turn now Newly, take good care of him." Newly stood in the room totally confused. "Marshal what just happened here?"

"Newly, maybe you had the right idea."

"What's that sir?"

"You followed your heart."

The next morning Cody was on his way over to the Long Branch to talk with Matt but it was Kitty who he was hoping to see. As he crossed the street Kitty was walking with Michael sharing a few laughs as they made their way towards the stable. She was holding on to his arm thoroughly enjoying his company. Cody felt a pang of jealousy as he entered the doors of the saloon. He walked into the room as Matt was reading the morning paper. "You must be the new Marshal." Cody extended his hand, "yes sir, it's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard so much about you, my name is Cody, Cody Lattimore."

"Well, thank you Cody, please sit down." Matt laid the paper next to him on the bed. Cody's eyes followed as the image of Kitty lying there next to him ran through his mind. "I guess I owe you a great deal son. The town has been pretty quiet. I hear you are highly thought of back in Washington."

"I try and do my best sir." Kitty's scent was so intoxicating to Cody's senses he was hoping his answers were making sense.

"I think you have a fine future, tell me a little about yourself."

Cody just wanted to focus on this room the last thing he wanted to do was answer questions. "My experience has been very limited but I certainly would love to hear about your years as a lawman. Why if I could be half the lawman you are I would consider myself extremely fortunate." Matt started to relate his many years in the service which soon became a background noise to Cody's ears as he started to fantasize making love to Kitty in her beautiful brass bed. He could visualize his hands roaming up and down her soft skin, his mouth caressing her body until her moans implored him to satisfy her insatiable need for him as only he could.

"Cody, Cody, are you all right?

Matt's voice interrupted his reverie "What?"

"You look a little flushed, are you all right? You know, Doc will be along soon maybe he should take a look at you."

"No, that's OK, I'm fine.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, sir I'm fine." Cody watched Matt's face. "I tried to time my visit so that I wouldn't intrude on your privacy so when I saw Miss Kitty out and about this morning I thought this might be a good time. It did surprise me to see her up so early."

At first Matt didn't answer. "Oh, she is full of surprises recently, that's for sure"

"Well, it's nice that you are a very understanding man Matt but then again I guess you don't consider Dr. Jenkins much of a threat."

"A threat?"

"Yes, I just saw Dr. Jenkins and Miss Kitty heading for the stables. It looked like they were carrying a basket of some kind. They picked a nice day for a picnic I'll say that much. You know, I don't think I would feel comfortable with another man going anywhere with my woman."

Cody noticed Matt's mood change immediately. Matt made an attempt to get out of bed. As he stood he fell towards Cody, "whoa, Marshal where do you think you're going? Come on now, settle back, that's it," as Cody helped Matt back into bed. Matt's head hurt so much but no one was there to stroke it and soothe him until the pain subsided. The door opened and Doc entered the room. "Cody, what's wrong with Matt?"

"Doc, we were just talking and he got up quickly and it seems like he is in a lot of pain."

"Let me take a look." As Doc proceeded to help Matt through his latest episode Cody took his leave.

When Matt finally opened his eyes Doc was standing over him. He again tried to get up. "Matt, what in tarnation are you trying to do, kill yourself? Now, you lay back down here and be still."

"I have to get up Doc."

"Why for heaven's sake?"

"I have to talk to Kitty, Doc."

"Well, she's out with Michael right now but they'll be back."

"You knew she was with him?"

"Of course, I know, they made plans at breakfast while I was there." Doc could tell that Kitty on a picnic was not sitting well with him. "Matt, she's a big girl she can handle herself, now lie still and stop worrying."

The wagon was making the turn to Spring Creek. It was a beautiful sunny day and Kitty was glad to have the opportunity to leave the Long Branch. She couldn't help but think that today was very much like the day Matt and she had planned before he was shot. Kitty directed Michael to another part of the creek. She was upset with Matt but she could never take another man to their place. Michael brought the buggy to a halt and came around to help Kitty. He carried the basket and spread the blanket out under an old oak tree. She unpacked the basket as Michael went to chill the champagne. He lay down on the blanket and leaned on his side to look at Kitty. "Kitty I am so glad we decided to do this."

"So am I Michael. I needed a break."

"I'm sure you do. It must have been very hard for you when Matt was unconscious."

"Worry mostly."

"And you're not worried now?"

"He seems to be doing better besides he is in very capable hands."

"Well, thank you for the compliment Miss Russell." He studied her face, "Kitty, what if Matt won't give it up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Being a U.S. Marshal. It can't be easy on you worrying all the time. I mean what will you do if he won't give it up?"

"Run my business Michael, like I always do."

"I think it means much more than that." Michael looked down and tugged at the blanket. "Kitty, this is a very serious situation and I don't think Matt is taking it that way."

"Talk to him I certainly don't have any influence."

"Oh, I think you do. You've been with him how many years?"

"It really doesn't matter."

Michael paused. He really wasn't sure how far he could take his questions, "Kitty, why didn't you ever have children? Didn't you want them?"

Kitty chuckled, "Imagine me pregnant. I would be the talk of the town everyone speculating on who the father was."

"Why, wouldn't they all know it was the Marshal's?"

"Didn't you know we're the towns best kept secret? So secret in fact that I sometimes think Matt doesn't even know!" She paused to try and control the emotion she felt so close to the surface. "No, Michael we didn't want children."

"You said we, I was asking about you."

He was asking her to talk about a subject she had buried so many years ago. Kitty took a deep breath. "Not in the beginning, no, but as time went on I wanted to give Matt a child. Maybe it was a little selfish of me but I wanted to experience his child growing inside me. For me that would be the ultimate expression of our love but I know it wasn't so for Matt. I guess some people grow in a relationship and some don't."

"It's not too late you know."

Kitty smiled, "Matt is not going to change his mind."

"You don't think you could love anyone else?"

"I have been dedicated to one man for so long I don't know what it would be like loving someone else."

"Pity, he doesn't realize how lucky he is." Michael paused for a moment. "I guess you could say that I am very similar to Matt. I have been totally dedicated to my work for a number of years now but I believe if I was lucky enough to find a woman to share my life she would be my whole world."

Kitty tried so hard to hold the emotion in but it had been a trying few days and the tears started to fall. Michael grabbed a napkin and dabbed at her eyes. He pulled her close, "there now let it all out, it's OK, that's right." He rocked Kitty in his arms and stroked her hair. "Shhh, it's all right, everything is going to be all right." Kitty looked up into those green eyes that held so much compassion and she felt safe. Michael looked into those beautiful blue eyes and found such hurt and pain. He wasn't sure if he could ever make them sparkle again but he was sure going to try. "Kitty, I really don't know what happened between you and the Marshal but I don't want you to every doubt how blessed a man would feel to be able to call you his wife."

"Michael, thank you for understanding."

"Kitty what is there to understand? Whatever happened, it was very emotional and we all need a time to cry. I was just glad I was here to hold you."

"I am too." They stared into each other's eyes for a second before their lips met. Michael ran his hand down Kitty's face as she welcomed his mouth again on hers. They took their time to experience the taste of each other before Michael released his hold. "Maybe I should check on the champagne." She could sense he wanted her to make the next move and she liked that about him but it was too soon. "I am a little hungry Michael that's a good idea."

"Yes, ma'am." As he walked down to the creek he knew if he took it slow he just might be able to convince Kitty Russell to leave Dodge and the law behind.

Matt was showing progress as the week went on. He was able to stand with the help of Michael or Festus or Newly without much pain. Matt was starting to feel better about his chances and thought by the end of next week he should be able to resume his Marshal duties. Michael was equally as happy since Kitty spent most of her time with him except when he was examining the Marshal. Michael had just left the room when Festus turned to Matt. "Matthew how long are you's gonna' let that yayhoo be with Miss Kitty?"

"Festus, we've been over this numerous times. Kitty doesn't want to see me. She hasn't come in to this room except when she needed to get some things. She can see whoever she wants to see what can I do?"

"Fiddle, you's and Miss Kitty belongs together. Why I haven't seen anyones as a good lookins' together in my whole life. You knows ifn' you's don't do somethin' I'm tellin' ya this here doctor is gonna' take her back to Balteemores. You see she ain't been bothered bys him as much as she was bys Cody across the street there. She's didn'ts like him at all. In facts, I was doin' my best lookin' out for him to keep him aways from her but this doctor Matthew he's a jimmin' jawin' and she's a lookin' at him and smilin' and you's can just tells he's, well, he's a courtin' her, don'ts ya see." Matt sat quiet as if he was a million miles away. "Matthew, if I's live to be a hundred years I'lls never understand you. Don'ts you care ifn' you's lose her Matthew?" Matt was still deep in thoughts as Festus left the room. Doc came in shortly after Festus with a tray for Matt. "Thought you might be hungry."

"Just leave it Doc, I don't have much of an appetite."

"What's eating at you today?"

"What makes you think something is eating at me? Is it a crime in this town for someone to not feel hungry?"

"No, if it was anyone else, maybe." Doc surveyed Matt's face. "Matt, how long is it going to be before you speak to Kitty?"

"Doc, she hasn't been in here but a few times and each time she brings in either Festus or Newly and the most I get from her is a hello."

"Marshal lost his tongue has he? I really don't believe that if you asked Kitty to talk with you she would say no."

"She's not interested in me anymore Doc, she has a new beau."

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Matt she loves you and I'm afraid that she always will. She has been enjoying Michael's company but that's as far as it goes."

"But Festus says,"

"Since when do you listen to Festus? Talk to her Matt she needs you as much as you need her."

Night had fallen and Matt was listening to the crowds downstairs. The door opened and it was Newly for his nightly checkers game. "Evening Marshal. I heard you are making some progress which is real good news. I used to tell Miss Kitty that, well, I knew you were going to be fine."

"It's all right Newly, I can hear Kitty's name you know."

"Yes, sir."

Newly started to set up the board as Matt separated the pieces. "Newly, what do you know about Cody?"

"Not much sir. He's been doing a pretty good job with the town in your absence but other than that." Newly shrugged his shoulders.

"How was he with Kitty?"

"Well I know she didn't like him very much. She always tried to avoid him. Although now that she is with Dr. Jenkins, well, I mean, not with, but seeing, well, not seeing, I mean, Marshal I'm not very good at this."

"Neither am I." Matt paused a second, "Festus made it sound like Cody was a nuisance to Kitty that he had to watch him to make sure he stayed away from her.

"Well, he was persistent, that's for sure." Newly made his first move. "Marshal, I don't feel comfortable talking about this."

"Newly, I need to know."

Newly paused thinking how he could tell Matt what he saw that night without upsetting him. "It was one of the nights that you were still unconscious and Miss Kitty was closing up. I heard voices and I wanted to make sure that she was OK. I carefully came out to the landing and I saw Cody, and, Marshal I really don't,"

"Newly, did he touch her?"

"Yes sir," Matt didn't react which surprised Newly. "Marshal, I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything to Miss Kitty. It was bad enough I heard her crying she would be embarrassed if she knew I saw anything else." Matt fell silent. He had put her through so much the past couple of weeks. He just hoped it wasn't too late to make amends.

The day was like any other. Matt out on the prairie tired, hungry, and wanting so very much to get home. A wind kicked up from the west and he shielded his eyes from the dust that ran across his face. He grabbed Buck and walked awhile cursing the fact that he was again in the middle of nowhere in such horrible weather conditions. All the while his mind focused on how great a soft bed would feel after sitting by the fireplace, sipping a brandy, and caressing the woman who had given him such love and comfort for almost two decades. His body ached for her as he tried to find shelter from a storm that seemed to be increasing in intensity with every step. At first he thought it was only the wind but when he listened carefully he realized that someone was calling his name. Trying his best to see through the haze of dirt he thought he saw a woman standing alone. He walked closer to her as she continued to call out to him. He wasn't sure but he thought the voice belonged to Kitty. He quickened his pace until he could see the figure before him. Kitty stood there as she looked like she was in some kind of accident. He didn't have time to wonder why she was there he just knew he had to reach and protect her from further harm. She continued calling to him with an outstretched hand begging for his help but no matter how quickly he ran they remained the same distance apart. He quickly ran to Buck and spurred him in her direction but now Jude Bonner was holding her with a knife at her throat imploring him to come closer. Matt screamed for him to let her go but Bonner just let out with waves and waves of evil laughter. He started to tear at Kitty's clothes and Matt quickly drew his gun and shot Bonner which hit his head dead on. Blood streamed down his face but Bonner remained standing. Matt's next shot hit Bonner again but he stood defiantly glaring at Matt while pulling away at Kitty's clothes until she was now half naked. She stood crying begging Matt to save her. As much as he wanted to rush Bonner he knew that any sudden moves would cause this madman to severely hurt the woman he loved. Bonner wore a satisfied look as he fondled Kitty watching how it tore Matt's insides up. "Hey Dillon you wanna touch I'll give ya a turn but just know you can't make her feel like I make her feel. I can make her scream all night long." Bonner waved Matt to come forward, "what's a matter Dillon you don't wanna touch her now that she's been with me? See that Red he can't stand the sight of you." Matt slowly made his way towards Kitty not wanting to provoke Bonner into hurting her further. As Matt started to raise his hand to touch her Bonner let out with a whooping cry and plunged the knife in Kitty's chest. Matt screamed out Kitty's name as he charged Bonner. Matt's body jumped up off the pillow, eyes wide open, as he felt the sweat pouring down his face. Newly ran into the room, gun drawn. "Marshal are you OK?" Matt looked up at Newly. "Sir, it looks like you might have had a bad dream."

Matt still was breathing heavy, "Kitty, is she still here?"

"She's right across the hall. I just saw her come in a little while ago."

"Was she alone?

"Yes sir, we had a really nice chat. Is there anything I can get you?"

Matt fell back on the bed. "No, I'm OK Newly, thanks." Newly made his way back out to hall. Matt turned to the empty space next to him and ran his hand across the void. "Oh, Kitty what is wrong with me?

Newly closed the door behind him and turned to face Kitty standing before him. "Is Matt all right? I thought I heard him screaming my name."

"I think he was having a bad dream Miss Kitty but I got him quieted down now. He should be OK."

Kitty had the urge to go and comfort him but if he needed time to sort things out he might not appreciate her interference. "Well, I guess I'll just go back to bed. Night, Newly."

"Night, ma'am."

Kitty laid back on her pillow and tried to go back to sleep but her mind was racing with thoughts of Matt and what the contents of his dream were that had him screaming her name.

The next few days Matt strength continued to improve and he could walk around on his own. His mood was also improving because he knew he would soon be back at work. Michael arrived to see Matt walking around the room. "Well, this is certainly a good sign. I hope you're not overdoing it Marshal."

"I'm feeling pretty good. I should be able to go back to work in the next couple of days." As much as Michael would love nothing more than for Matt to return to his job because that would disappoint Kitty he had to caution his patient on the dangers of rushing back too soon. "Marshal, I wouldn't be in a hurry to resume your responsibilities just yet. I really do not believe you are fully healed."

"Doctor, I'm feeling very much like myself and I don't see any reason for me to stay in this room any longer. The most time I'm going to need is another couple of days and I should be fine. Besides, I'm sure you are probably very anxious to get back east."

"I think you're being foolish Marshal. If you won't think about your own health maybe you should think about how this decision would affect Kitty."

"I don't think what happens between me and Kitty is any of your business, doctor."

"I didn't mean to interfere in your life sir but I have become very fond of Kitty and I wouldn't want to see her hurt any further. Why she loves you the way she does escapes me because from my view you only think about yourself never taking her feelings into account on any decision you make and that sir is a pity!"

"I am not going to stand here and discuss my private life with you. I appreciate all you've done for me but when it comes to my life with Kitty it is no ones business but ours. Being a U.S. Marshal is my life and she knows it. We never needed explanations before so if she is so unhappy she knows she can leave me at any time."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Marshal. In any case I am going to stay longer just to make sure you continue to progress. I do worry about a setback."

"Or do you need some more time to convince Kitty to go with you?"

"Now, Marshal your private life is off limits but mine is not?

"Doctor, Kitty and I have a long history; we've been through so much together which has only made us stronger. Whatever you think may be happening between us I want to assure you that what you see today is just temporary. Make no mistake we will be together again."

"I'm glad to see you are so optimistic Marshal but make no mistake that if you keep insisting that your job is the focus of your life you will lose her. It might not be me but it will happen. Even though you feel the need to display this bravado which I know is for my benefit; I truly believe that if Kitty walked out of your life you would be a shell of your former self; a man whose sense of purpose would be lost and your will to live gone. Your job means nothing Marshal without that woman and maybe one day you'll be man enough to admit it. Good day." Michael abruptly turned and left Matt alone with his thoughts.

The next day Kitty was sitting downstairs having a cup of coffee waiting for Michael to arrive to examine Matt. "Sam, what time is it?

"Quarter past nine."

"I wonder where Michael is."

"Shouldn't he have been here to examine the Marshal by now?"

"Sam, I'm going over to the Dodge House and make sure he's OK. I'll be back."

"Sure, Miss Kitty."

Kitty hurried down the boardwalk into the Dodge House up to room number eight. She knocked on the door. Michael opened the door very pleased to see her. "Kitty, please come in. Is everything all right?"

"I was a little concerned when you didn't come in this morning to examine Matt."

"Oh, it always comes back to the Marshal." He shook his head. Tell me Kitty, were you more worried about something happening to me or to Matt?

"Michael that's not fair. If you must know I did think that maybe something happened to you."

"You didn't think of the Marshal at all?"

"Not at first, no."

"But you did think about him."

"Well, Michael you did break your routine. I thought something must have happened."

"It did Kitty. Matt and I had a small falling out."

"What does that mean?"

"I guess I was a little over zealous in my defense of you and the Marshal took offense to it."

"What did you say?"

"Kitty, it's not important. Why don't I take you to breakfast and we'll talk about other things, please?"

"Michael, I would like to know,"

Michael placed his fingers over her lips. "Kitty, I care for you deeply and the thought of spending any more time talking about the Marshal of Dodge is not something I want to do. Just let's say he thinks he knows more than I about his condition and he wants to call the shots." Kitty's face exhibited concern and fear within seconds of Michael's last word. "Kitty, truthfully he is pretty much healed but I didn't think a few more days would hurt, he didn't agree. I will stay until the beginning of next week to make sure everything is OK before I leave."

Kitty hugged him, "thank you Michael." As she moved her head he gently ran the back of his fingers along her face. "I would do anything for you; you do know that, don't you?" Kitty smiled as she kissed him. They stared into each other's eyes for a second before they embraced ever so tightly and passionately continued their innocent kiss. Michael moved his hand and glided it up the front of her bodice until he reached the top button. As he continued to undo each pearl Kitty encouraged his advances. He felt her soft skin and kissed her neck working his way down to her breasts. She threw her head back and he swept her up in his arms and laid her down on the bed. He quickly threw off his shirt and she was amazed at his beautifully chiseled chest. He removed her blouse and skirt and there was no one in his life who he ever wanted more. He watched her reaction to his touch and he knew she would be his soon but then he stopped. "Michael, why?"

"Kitty, I don't want you if the Marshal is still in your heart. I think we were both carried away by pure physical need." He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "I want you to know that the day you come to me with all your heart that will be the happiest day of my life." Kitty started to cry. "Michael, I don't deserve you."

"Oh, my dear lady, you are more than I deserve. Here, let me help you dress and we will go to breakfast, all right?"

Matt decided that he would try and walk out to the second floor landing. He knew Kitty's regular routine of drinking her coffee while going over the books. As he opened the door Festus jumped up and offered to help.

"Festus, I would like to try this on my own but I thank you anyway." Matt thought a minute, "well, maybe you could stand close by just in case."

"Sure thing, Matthew."

He made it to the landing and looked down at the table where the books and coffee cup lay. "Sam, is Kitty around?"

Matt startled Sam. Not only was he out of the room but he didn't want to have to tell him that Kitty was over with Michael. "I'm not sure Marshal but I think she said something about going over to see Dr. Jenkins."

Matt felt weak and had to hold on to the railing. Festus ran to his side and put Matt's arm around his neck. "Easy there Matthew, let's just gets you back to bed. I's think you's did enough for one day."

"Festus, I'm all right. I just want to talk with Kitty that's all!"

"OK, then I'll gets you into bed and I'lls go look and see where Miss Kitty is at."

"I know where she is Festus, she's with that dandy from back east."

"I's knows it too Matthew but I'm sure that once she knows that you's wants to see her, well, she'll be here before you can say rat runs over,"

Matt put his hand up, "Festus, I just need to see her."

"Will do Matthew now's just gets into bed and I'lls see what's I can do."

Festus was hoping that Kitty and Dr. Jenkins were in a public place. He certainly didn't want to have to go to the doctor's hotel room to find her. He didn't know what he would do if he found Kitty in bed with the good doctor. Both Matt and Kitty meant so much to him and he didn't want to be put in a position to have to betray either one. He thought he would try the restaurants or maybe the lounge area of the hotel before he went to the doctor's room. He spotted them in Delmonico's and hurried in, "Excuse me, Miss Kitty, Matthew was askin' for ya." She turned to Michael, "Go ahead Kitty, we'll meet for lunch." "Thank you Michael." He kissed her hand which annoyed Festus.

Kitty stood outside the door of her room for a few seconds. With a deep breath she turned the door knob and entered the room. Matt was reading the paper as she came into view. "I guess you've had a lot of time to catch up on your reading."

Matt put the paper down, swung his legs to the floor, and got to his feet quickly. Kitty could see the improvement and was glad that he wasn't showing any ill effects. Matt opened his arms, "Are you going to just stand there or?"

"Oh Matt," Kitty ran into his open arms. "I've missed you so much."

"I know honey, I've missed you."

He took her chin in his hand and gently caressed her lips with his. He whispered in her ear, "Can I make love to you; I believe I owe you one from the other night. Might say I feel a little obligated." Kitty threw back her head and laughed, that big throaty laugh that Matt so adores. "Kitty I am so sorry for putting you through," Kitty touched his lips, "Cowboy, why don't you show me how very sorry you are."

"I'd be pleased to ma'am," as he started to undo her buttons. One item after another dropped to the floor until she stood before him naked. He picked her up and laid her on the bed and proceeded to undress before her. He knew how much she enjoyed watching him and if he slowed down the process just right it would excite her. He lay next to her and stroked her hair. "I love you so much." Kitty watched as Matt worked his way around her body. With her outstretched hands she held his curls so tightly while he sent ripples of pleasure pulsating throughout her body until he knew she was ready for the complete acceptance of him. She so desperately needed to feel him again. "I need you Matt, please." He smiled as he rocked her in a soothing rhythm that only grew more intense as their bodies begged for the release of all the passion they possessed for one another.

She loved holding him afterwards as she wiped the sweat from his brow and ran her fingers through his hair while he caught his breath. "I think you may have outdone yourself, cowboy." He looked up into those crystal blue eyes, "I could not have done this without you; I tried while you were away but it wasn't the same." Kitty laughed again and Matt thought how much he missed her laughter. He lay back on the pillow and held Kitty in his arms stroking her back until they fell asleep.

Michael was expecting Kitty for lunch and when she didn't show he made his way to the Long Branch. Sam told him that Kitty hadn't come down since she went up to see the Marshal. The one thing he finds hard to understand is the unbelievable hold the Marshal has on her and wished there was something he could do to change it. He dejectedly left the Long Branch and went back to his room.

Kitty opened her eyes to see Matt sleeping like a little boy. She stroked his hair as she started to wonder what their son would look like. That thought only made her melancholy. As Matt opened his eyes he could see something was wrong. "Kitty what is it?"

"Oh, nothing Matt. You looked so peaceful that's all."

"Are you happy?"

"Of course, why would you ask that question?"

"Because you don't look like you are, now are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Matt it's stupid."

"Try me."

"I was stroking your hair and I guess, well, I guess I wondered what our son would look like."

"Why are you thinking about that?"

"I don't know Matt. Maybe because when I thought you were dead I had hoped that I was carrying your child. I guess it got me to thinking, that's all."

"Kitty we've discussed this. How can we have a child, you know how much danger they would be in."

"I know." Kitty leaned back on her pillow. Matt watched her stare off into space as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. He leaned over her and wiped them away with his fingers. "Kitty, if I was someone else we would have a whole passel of kids but I'm not. My job is dangerous and I can't do my job if I'm worried all the time about my children. I have a hard enough time worrying about you."

"It always comes down to that doesn't it?"

"What?"

"Your job. Our life has to be put on hold. We can't have kids, we can't have a home; nothing is permanent for us."

Matt tried to hold her but she turned away from him. "Kitty, I would love to have children with you but I have a job to do and I just can't walk away from it because you're feeling maternal."

She quickly got up out of bed and went to the pile of clothes on the floor. Matt stopped her and held her tight as she cried into his chest. "I can't do this anymore Matt. I can't keep suppressing my dreams because you have a job to do. I love you Matt and I always will but I think I have waited long enough. I can't wait any longer Matt, there are things I want from this life before I leave it. I would like to share them with you but if your job is more important than me, you have to let me go."

"Kitty, I don't want to."

"It's not about you anymore Matt, it's about me."

"Kitty please, don't."

"Didn't Michael tell you that the next blow to your head could be your last and you still want to go back to being the Marshal of Dodge? Do you know how many times I thought I've lost you over the years? Just a few weeks ago my life was turned upside down again in a blink of an eye. I can't do this anymore Matt. You have this need to be Marshal and if that is more important than me, well, there is nothing more I can say. Matt, please let me go."

He released her from his grasp as she hurriedly dressed. As she left, she turned back toward him hoping she would hear some words of regret but instead he just stood there, naked, without a word to say. She closed the door behind her and as the tears began to flow she opened the door across the hall, ran to the bed, and cried into the pillow.


	7. New Beginnings

Dusk was starting to set over Dodge when Michael made his way to the street. He stood for a moment outside the Dodge House watching life pass him by on the streets of Dodge. He hadn't seen Kitty since early this morning which was a decision he now thoroughly regretted. Every time he tried to rest, visions of her and Matt together ran through his mind and tortured his soul. He made the decision to go back to Baltimore this coming weekend instead of staying until sometime next week since it would be too hard for him to watch the happy couple. As he made his way to Delmonico's he heard the familiar jangling of spurs and saw Festus coming in his direction. "Good evening, Festus."

"Evenin," Festus tried to quickly walk past him.

He grabbed Festus by the arm, "Would you know where I might find Kitty?"

Festus looked at Michael and then to his arm. Michael released his hold on him, "She's in her room."

"Her new room or her old room?"

"She's not with Matthew ifn' that's whats you mean."

Michael felt relieved as he said thank you but Festus just quickened his pace so he wouldn't have to give the doctor another moment of his time. Michael held on to a glimmer of hope that maybe the lover's reunion didn't go quite as planned. He made his way over to the Long Branch and walked up the stairs to Kitty's room. He knocked softly and waited for an answer. Kitty was sitting up in bed, arms wrapped around her legs, head resting on her knees. She heard the knock and hoped it would be Matt standing at the door ready to change their lives but she knew that only happened in her dreams. "Come in." Michael slowly opened the door and made his way further into the room. "Kitty, it's getting dark in here let me turn on a light."

"Michael I may as well sit in the dark since I've been in it my whole life."

Michael sat down next to her and put his arms around her. "What happened?"

Kitty broke down and sobbed uncontrollably. "It's OK I'm here, everything is going to be all right." When Kitty was finally able to speak, "Michael, I was a fool." He stroked her hair. "Don't talk that way, you're not a fool."

Kitty looked into his eyes, "Michael I want you to make love to me." He shook his head. "Kitty there is nothing more in the world I would rather do but I told you before I don't want the physical act before I have all of your heart. It won't do either of us any good if you use that wonderful expression of love to even a score with the Marshal. I hate to say this but he really wouldn't care."

"I know you're right but Michael it hurts so much."

"I know it does. I only wish I could do something that would take away the pain."

"Just be here with me?"

"My pleasure," Michael leaned back on the bed with Kitty in his arms. He rubbed her back and held her close until she fell asleep. He soon followed.

Matt lay across the hall wide awake staring at the ceiling when he heard a knock. He was hoping that Kitty was standing at the door so he could tell her how sorry he was, "come in." Doc entered with a tray of food. He could tell that something was wrong. "I thought Festus told me that Kitty was up here?"

"She was."

"Oh, I must have missed her downstairs."

"I don't know where she is Doc."

Doc wiped his hand across his moustache then grabbed Matt's arm to check his pulse. "Yep, still living."

"I'm not amused," Math folded his arms across his chest. "And when can I get out of this room and get back to doing my job!"

"Matt, why don't you tell me what is going on."

"I just want to get back to being Marshal why can't anyone understand that."

"Where's Kitty?"

"I don't know Doc. She left a few hours ago and she didn't let me in on her plans."

"But I thought,"

"Oh, we had our reunion and everything was going fine until she brought up having children. I said we couldn't, she said she wanted to and the next thing I knew she was getting dressed and walking out the door." Matt looked up at Doc, "Kitty has always understood before, I don't know why she wants them now."

Doc shook his head. "Matt, you're getting older, Kitty is getting older and what kept her happy in the beginning is not what is going to keep her happy now. Matt I watch her die a little every time something happens to you and I believe this last time hit her exceptionally hard. All the years she's been with you what does she really have? Her business and that she could have with or without you. Her needs changed and yours remained the same." Doc tugged on his ear. "Have you given any thought to how much longer you are going to be the Marshal here?

"Probably till I die."

"Oh for heaven's sake Matt, what is wrong with you? Haven't you learned anything from your friend Adam Kimbro?" Doc paused, "we all owe you a debt of gratitude for making this town what it is today but do you honestly believe that no one can run a town like you?" Doc motioned for Matt to come with him to the window. Matt climbed out of bed and both stood looking down at the street. "You've been up here nearly three weeks now and I would say Cody has done a pretty good job keeping the peace. The point is that one day Washington will send another young man, maybe even Cody, to run this town for good like they did to your friend. True, you might be killed before then but if not how long do you think it will be before you start drifting? Don't let the one person that gives your life meaning leave you Matt. Don't be a fool, son."

"I think you've said enough Doc. Thanks for the meal, now if you will excuse me." Matt sat at the edge of the bed with his head down. Doc rested his hand on Matt's shoulder then turned to leave. "I'll check in on you tomorrow." Matt just nodded he didn't want Doc to see his glistening eyes.

Matt tried hard to sleep but the restlessness in his heart kept his body tossing and turning. He got up and roamed both rooms with the strongest desire to walk across the hall, hold Kitty in his arms, and do exactly what he planned to do before he was shot but what if she wasn't alone; what if Michael was there comforting her or worse loving her. He made his way to the door, opened it and started across the hall, "Evening Marshal, is there something I can get for you?"

"Ah, no Newly I was just going to, ah, see if, um, Kitty, had dinner."

"I don't think anything is opened now sir. I guess you feel asleep for awhile. Perhaps you could take her for breakfast tomorrow."

"Maybe," Matt turned, "say Newly, before you go home tomorrow morning would you like to take a walk? I think maybe it's time for me to get around a bit to get my sea legs back, so to speak."

"No problem, sir. When you're ready I'll be here."

"See ya in the morning then."

"Night, Marshal."

As the sun filtered through her room Kitty woke to find Michael still holding her. She looked at his kind face and smiled. He started to stir and woke to her blue eyes smiling at him. "I thought I would never see that again."

"What?"

"Your eyes, they're smiling."

She reached over and kissed him. "You spoil me."

"Oh, lovely lady, if given the chance you would never want for anything again in your life." They kissed and held each other tight. He played with her hair, planting kisses on her forehead. "I don't know if you realize this but we never had dinner last night, are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Ok, why don't you get changed and I'll wait here." Kitty went into the next room while Michael planned the day.

Matt woke and slowly dressed for the day. He made his way to the door and as he opened it the door across the hall opened as Michael and Kitty stepped into the hall. Matt and Kitty's eyes met and everyone in the hallway could see that the fire still burned between them. Matt quickly looked away and motioned to Newly, "I thought we would go to old man Hawkins place," they continued their conversation as they walked down the stairs. Michael looked over at Kitty. She watched Matt as he walked down the hall. Michael knew she was trying very hard to not let Matt affect her but he still did. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," Kitty turned towards him, "I thought you were taking me to breakfast."

"If the lady is hungry I shall get her something to eat." He put his arm around her waist and they walked down the stairs.

They reached Delmonico's and Michael took the table in the corner. He held the chair out for her as Joe came to take their order. Kitty and Michael sat having breakfast in relative silence. Michael looked over his coffee cup, "is it something I can help you with?"

"Huh?"

"You have been so quiet and pensive this morning."

"I know, I must be horrible company, I'm sorry."

"You have a lot on your mind and seeing Matt this morning I'm sure didn't help much."

"No, it didn't. He can be so infuriating, but if he walked in here right now I would still want him near. Crazy I suppose?"

Michael reached over and put his hand on Kitty's arm, "Kitty, you've known Matt for a very long time and been in a very committed relationship so I don't think you're crazy, well, maybe this much." Michael took his index finger and thumb and spread them apart slightly.

Kitty laughed, "Michael, this is not fair to you. I should be enjoying our time together instead I'm sullen and thinking about another man. I am going to try to be better company."

"I knew what I was getting myself into Kitty. Matt is very much ingrained in your life. You can't be expected to turn off your feelings toward him just because some handsome, intelligent, wickedly funny, doctor from back east walks into your life, now can you?

Kitty touched his face. "I don't know about the wickedly funny part!"

"Now, that's the woman I know," Michael leaned over softly and kissed her lips. She held him there and passionately responded to his overture. "Kitty, I want you to know I do want you."

"I know and I do love you for waiting."

"I will make it well worth the wait!"

After breakfast he accompanied Kitty to the Long Branch. "I have to run a couple of errands but I thought we would go to that Mexican restaurant outside of town that you love tonight."

"Oh, Michael that would be wonderful."

"Good, I'll pick you up around six?"

"Six it is," he took her head in his hands and tenderly kissed her. Matt and Newly were returning from their walk when Newly spotted Kitty with Michael on the boardwalk in front of the Long Branch. "Marshal, why don't we just stop a moment, you've been pushing yourself a little too hard and I think it might be better if we rested."

"Newly we're almost to the Long Branch I can see," as he pointed towards the saloon he noticed the pair. "Is that what you were trying to stop me from seeing?"

"Yes sir."

"Newly, I'm all right. I wish things could be different but they're not. Come on, I'm a little tired I would like to go to my room." Kitty watched as Michael walked away from her saloon. Matt and Newly reached the front door just as Kitty turned to go in. Matt held the door open for her and they stood eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity. "How was your walk?"

"I have a real taskmaster here so it was a lot of work." Kitty smiled and they made their way to their rooms. Newly went to the bar and watched them ascend the stairs. They walked down the hallway and stood in front of the doorway to their rooms. "Kitty,"

"Matt, I really don't think we can say anything else to each other, do you?"

"I was just going to say that I wish with all my heart things could be different but they can't."

Kitty nodded as she opened her door. Matt couldn't move he wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go. Kitty turned back to see him staring at her, "thanks for being honest with me, cowboy." As he watched her enter her room he wished he could turn back time.

Michael and Kitty had taken a leisurely walk to the Mexican restaurant outside of town. Kitty loved to come here only now she wished she could stop thinking about Matt. She was very quiet as the times she ate here with him ran through her mind. "You seem to be a little preoccupied this evening Kitty, what is it?"

"Nothing Michael I've just been thinking about a few things."

"Like what?"

"Oh, how I will probably have to leave to find any peace. I don't know if I will be able to see Matt and not want him so."

"I'm sure a change of scenery will probably do you a world of good. Over time Kitty you will forget about Matt."

"I hope so; I can't continue to live my life like this."

"Won't you miss your other friends in Dodge when you leave?"

"Terribly, but I think they will all understand and it's not like I can't come back to see them or they come visit me."

"Have you decided where you might want to go?"

"I could always go back to New Orleans I suppose or maybe San Francisco, St. Louis,"

"Baltimore?"

"I never thought about it."

Michael stood up, reached into his pocket, got down on one knee, opened the box and looked in Kitty's eyes. "Miss Kitty Russell would you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Michael Jenkins?"

Kitty started to cry, "Oh Michael,"

"Well?"

"You do know that Matt is still very much a part of my life."

"I am aware of that but I think if you come with me to Baltimore and we are alone, really alone, I can make you happy beyond your wildest dreams and then Matt Dillon will become a very distant memory. Whatever you want, house, kids, business, you shall have." Kitty was caught totally by surprise. She had looked forward to the day when Matt would utter these words but here Michael was down on his knee willing to make a lifelong commitment and she just felt numb. Michael sensed her hesitation, "Kitty, you don't have to give me your answer now. I know this is a very difficult decision for you to make so take your time but just know I want what is best for you. I love you Kitty Russell and you would make me the happiest man in the world if you became my wife." She stared at the ring and cried.

Before the sun was up Matt was pacing the floor waiting for Doc to arrive. He couldn't sleep anticipating that this might be his first day back on the job. He stood at the window watching Earl turn out the street lights and then he lay back down on the bed but memories of Kitty drove him to pace again. As he walked around the room he noticed his jacket still hanging on the armoire and then he remembered. He reached into his boot, opened the box, and sat down in the oversized chair that Kitty had bought for him. Would she even accept this now? He placed it back in the boot thinking he would return it to the safe once he got back to the office. Maybe someday when it was the right time he would take the box out of the safe again. Doc came into the room in a rather quiet mood. "Well, you're taken your own sweet time! I've been pacing for hours waiting for you to give me a clean bill of health." Doc started to pace himself. "Is there something wrong, Doc?

"I've just seen Kitty downstairs having coffee."

"Is she all right?"

Doc ran his hand behind his head. "Matt, maybe you should sit down."

"I don't want to sit down Doc, what's wrong?"

"Kitty is leaving, she's going to marry Michael and they'll be going back to Baltimore."

Matt slowly sat back down in the chair and felt all his strength drain from his body. "When's she going, do you know?"

"I think within the week."

"That's ridiculous, how can she wrap up her business that quick? She can't possibly leave so soon, Doc."

"I didn't ask her all the details I wasn't interested. I just kept thinking about how I was going to miss her," Doc turned away from Matt as he tried to hold back tears.

"I've got to talk to her."

"Matt, now hold on there. You haven't exactly been your most persuasive the last few times you two have been together."

Matt rushed passed Doc on his way downstairs. He found Kitty sitting at her usual table sipping coffee and reading the paper. She looked up when she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. "Aren't you missing something cowboy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if this is your first day back on the job I would think you'd need your gun, but most of all, that badge. You must feel very strange without it."

"Kitty we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Doc tells me you are going to Baltimore and getting married to the doctor."

"His name is Michael and yes, I am."

"Kitty you can't possibly love him."

"Not the way I've loved you that's a fact but you know Matt where has loving you gotten me? I haven't gotten anything more out of this relationship then when we first started." She took a sip of coffee. "I have found someone Matt who worries about my happiness, I'm sure love will follow. Besides, I'll be out of this cow town, I'll have a man who will always be there for me and who I know really loves me."

"Kitty, do you believe there was ever a day I didn't love you?"

"I don't know Matt you weren't around all the time to tell me."

"Kitty, you can't go."

"Matt, I've made my mind up. I need to get you out of my system and I can't do that if I stay in this town."

"How can you marry another man if you still love me?"

"We're not getting married right away." She took another sip of coffee. "Someday Matt I'll wake up and my first thought won't be you. When that day comes Michael and I will be married."

"What if it never happens?"

"I hope it does Matt. I want to forget you; I need to forget you, if I'm ever going to find happiness."

"Have you, has he, does he make you feel,"

"Matt, I don't think there is a man on this earth that will ever make me feel the way you've made me feel but truthfully I've never made love to Michael so I guess there is still hope."

"Kitty, if I retire will you stay?"

"Do you think I accepted Michael's proposal to get you to give up the badge?" Matt remained silent, "Do you really think I could live with the fact that you gave up the badge for me before you were ready to? I thought you knew me better than that Matt!" Kitty put her hand on Matt's, "please Matt let me get on that train with Michael."

He placed his hand on top of hers and stared into those beautiful blue eyes. "I need you Kitty, I need you."

She could feel the tears forming in her eyes as she recalled her battered body lying on Doc's table and Matt whispering those words, as he held her hand, begging her to live for him. She quickly got up and ran into her office. Matt followed behind and locked her office door. He stood behind her and pulled her towards him and held her tightly as she turned to assault his mouth with hers. Matt quickly undressed her and picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He made a move to grab their picnic blanket but in the frenzy he lost his balance and crashed against the wall. He threw the blanket on the floor and carefully placed Kitty on it as she continued to tear open his shirt and undo his belt. He quickly undressed to reclaim the love they had shared for so many years. There was no doubt how ready they were when their bodies collided. The passion still burned and that fire would never be extinguished no matter how far either traveled. Matt lay on top of Kitty exhausted. He needed this woman so much he ached with the thought of losing her. She gently kissed his neck and held him tight as she ran her hands up and down his back. She wanted to hold him forever but she knew she couldn't. She knew what was best for her was to get on that train and have a life again. Her life would never change if she stayed in Dodge and she knew she had to face that reality. Matt ran his fingers down her face, "I love you Kitty so much," she looked into his watery eyes, "but you love the badge more." He pleaded, "Please don't leave me." All she could say was "I'm sorry Matt."

He held her as long as he could then he helped her up off the floor and watched her dress for what would be the last time. He finished buttoning his shirt, tucked it in his pants, and reached out to hold her. "I wish you all the best Kitty I hope you find what you've been looking for." He kissed the top of her head and left her office while all she could do was watch him leave.

He went back to his room where Doc was sitting waiting for his return. "Well?"

Matt just shook his head. "So how about it Doc do I get a chance to go back to work?"

Doc just shook his head, "I've talked to Cody and he told me they want him to stay until the first of the week just to make sure you're healed. Now I'll understand if you want to stay somewhere else until," Matt shook his head. "I would like to stay here. There are a lot of memories in this room that I can't let go of just yet." Doc reached over and patted Matt on the shoulder. "It's going to be OK. We'll get through it."

For the next couple of days everyone in Dodge walked around in a daze. They didn't want to believe Kitty was leaving but unlike the time she went to Ballard they knew Matt couldn't go and "fetch her back" this time. Doc was surprised that with all the protesting Matt had done wanting to leave Kitty's room he was now all too willing to stay. It wouldn't surprise him if Matt made that his permanent home. The day came for Kitty to leave. Sam had made Doc, Festus and Newly a pot of coffee and they were sitting in the Long Branch in a very somber mood. "It's not going to be the same without Miss Kitty, that's for sure."

"Yeah, I know that Newly," Doc was taking this particularly hard.

"Doc, do you's think Matthew is gonna' say goodbye?"

"I think he said his goodbye the other day." Doc sipped his coffee.

"I's just don't understand Matthew atall. Havin' someone likes Miss Kitty and lettin' some high toney yayhoo come in here and just snatch her away, well, I just don'ts understand him." Festus just shook his head.

"Two stubborn people is all." Doc mumbled to himself.

Matt was upstairs walking around the room taking note of things he never noticed before. He ran his hand over her empty night table where her scent faintly hung in the air. The armoire that held her rejection dresses was also empty now as Matt closed the doors after a final look. He ran his hand over the fireplace and recalled the dinners and drinks they shared and how happy they were. He made his way over to the window and moved the lace curtain to the side. It was there he saw them coming from Delmonico's, arm in arm, in pleasant chatter as they made their way to the Long Branch. He thought about going downstairs to say goodbye but he wasn't sure if he could hold his emotions in check. He sat in the oversized armchair and closed his eyes. This was going to be his first day back on the job but it pained him to move. With a sigh he finally stood and put on his gun and had just finished pinning his badge on his chest when he heard footsteps entering the room. Kitty stood in the doorway. "I just came to say goodbye Matt." Matt dropped his hand quickly off his badge. Kitty moved closer, "I guess you're glad you're getting back to work."

"Yeah."

They both stood frozen staring at one another expecting the other to say something. Kitty looked down trying to keep the tears from coming. "Well, I've got to go we're,"

Matt walked towards her, "Kitty, one thing I always want you to remember."

"What's that Matt?"

"You might be able to forget me one day but I will never forget you. You will be with me until the day I die." He took her shoulders and bringing her to his chest he whispered, "I love you Kitty. I hope you will be very happy my love." She stayed close to his chest and breathed his scent for the last time as the tears were streaming down her cheeks. She looked up at Matt and as hard as he tried to stop the tears they filled his eyes. She gently wiped away his tears and pulled him to her for their final kiss. She touched his cheek and ran her fingers over his lips; eyes never leaving each other's gaze, "goodbye Matt." All he could do was watch her leave the room and walk out of his life.

Kitty came down the stairs and one by one said her goodbyes to all her friends. Michael knew how difficult this was for her and figured she would be pretty emotional even after they boarded the train. She was approaching him and he reached out and put his arm around her waist. He smiled, "Are you all right?"

"Yes, are you ready to go?"

"Whenever you are."

They both said their final goodbyes and headed for the door. Michael opened the door for Kitty but she stood frozen in place. As she turned around she looked up at the second floor landing. Matt was standing watching her leave. She met his gaze as all the Dodge residents wished one or the other would come to their senses. Michael leaned into Kitty but she never took her eyes off Matt. "Honey, we have to go, we'll miss our train." Kitty nodded turned around and walked out the door.

"Matt came down the stairs with all eyes on him. "Matthew why you didn't do anythin'? You see hows she looked at you, why didn't you say somethin'?

"Festus I have a job to do and I'm on my way to do it."

Festus let out with a pshaw and waved his hand in disgust. Matt made his way over to his office with Doc, Festus and Newly in tow as Cody was coming out of the jailhouse. He was loading his gear on his horse when Matt came over and extended his hand. "Thank you for taking such good care of Dodge."

"You're welcome Matt, maybe we will see each other again someday."

"Maybe, where you headed?"

"Want me to go to Cimarron. Nice little town, some fine women there. Maybe you should come and visit me sometime, I'll introduce you." Cody shoved his rifle into the holster and turned back to Matt. "Figured you might be in the market now that Miss Russell is gone."

The emotions that Matt kept bottled up for days finally exploded as his fist slammed into Cody's jaw. Cody fell to the ground as Doc, Festus and Newly grabbed Matt. Matt was trying to push passed them as he pointed his finger in Cody's direction, "Don't you ever touch or come near my woman again, you hear me?"

Doc started pushing Matt towards his office, "Matt settle down, stop this now, come on let's go into your office."

Cody got up and brushed himself off. He grabbed the reins of his horse and mounted him quickly. He held his horse in front of Matt as he smiled at him. "Hate to tell you Marshal but she's not your woman anymore." With that he spurred his horse and in a matter of seconds was out of sight.

Doc finally got Matt settled in his office chair. "Now why did you go and do a fool thing like that for?"

"Doc I don't want any lectures, just leave me be."

Doc looked over at Festus and Newly, "why don't we go for a drink? It doesn't need to be the Long Branch but I think we all need one."

"I thinks that's a good idea Doc."

"Oh, I knew you would, especially if someone else is buying!"

"What'd you say Matt?"

"Thanks Doc, I'm not in the mood besides I'm sure there is a lot here that I have to catch up on."

"Not really sir. Cody was pretty efficient in that way," Newly was careful not to give Cody too much credit knowing the mood Matt was in.

"I think it's best if I stay here," Matt grabbed some papers off his desk.

"Suit yourself." Doc gave the nod to Festus and Newly to follow him out the door.

They decided to head to the Long Branch. They figured Sam would be just as upset and they could keep him company. "Sam, set us up with drinks," Doc looked at Festus and Newly, "I'll buy, oh, and Sam pour yourself one."

"Thanks Doc," Sam filled the glasses and they all hoisted them for a toast.

"To Kitty Russell, one of the finest women this world has ever known. We are going to miss her by golly." Doc's voice cracked at the end of the toast and he had to look away to hold back the tears.

"You know what I keep thinking Doc."

"What's that Sam?"

"The day that the Marshal was shot. I'd never seen them so happy. How did everything go so wrong?"

"I don't know Sam they are two very independent and stubborn people and sometimes they butt heads. Unfortunately, Michael was here and offered Kitty what she had been hoping for all these years from Matt. A life! I guess I'm to blame for bringing Michael here but Matt needed a specialist and he was the best man I knew."

"Aw, Doc, now you ain't responsible for them not stayin' together, don't ya see? We got Matthew back to his ownself. At least that doctor helped Matthew some."

Newly swallowed his beer. "He's right Doc. Maybe the Marshal would still be upstairs today with terrible head pain if Dr. Jenkins didn't come."

"Maybe, but we'll never know. All I know is Kitty is gone and Michael Jenkins took her with him." They all quietly finished their drinks and ordered another one.

Matt walked around his office which looked cleaner than he had remembered it. He looked out at the street when his eye caught the Long Branch sign. His beacon, his sanctuary, the light within him was gone. He wished he could move his office so stepping out on the boardwalk in front of his building wouldn't be a constant reminder of his loss. He walked back in the cell area and held on to the bars. He had dedicated so much of his life to uphold the law but the law never held him at night when the horrors of the job tortured his mind and sleep would not come easy. These cold hard bars could not replace the soft, supple skin that aroused him so easily. This cot could not envelop his body in the sweet caress of satin or tantalize the senses with the gentle fragrance of rose water. Matt went in to one of the cells and sat on the cot leaning his back on the wall. For the first time in his life he didn't know where to turn and felt totally alone.

The boys were still drinking and talking about Kitty. They all loved her in their own way and would miss her terribly but they were all sure the big man down the street would miss her the most. He wasn't very demonstrative but they all knew how deep his emotions went for his redhead. Doc turned to the men before him, "We're all going to have to look out after him for awhile. He won't like to admit it but this will hit him hard."

"Doc, I'll do what I can but I really don't think I'm gonna' be seeing him in the Long Branch again."

"Don't kid yourself Sam, I think he's still going to stay in Kitty's room."

"Doc, don'ts ya worry none, I'll have my eyeballs peeled and awatchin' everywheres he goes."

"Count me in Doc. You know I'll do anything for the Marshal."

With that the whistle of the Eastern train bellowed throughout the town. Doc turned to the assembled men, "I guess this is as good a time as any to put our plan into action. Come on, let's get over to see Matt, I don't think he should be alone right now." Doc, Festus and Newly said goodbye to Sam and made their way over to the jailhouse.

Matt heard the sound of the train whistling its final farewell. He leaned his head against the wall and exhaled. He was hoping Kitty would change her mind and return but the train was now making its way east ending that fleeting dream. He knew he was going to have to stop thinking about her and get back to being the Marshal. In time he hoped things would return to normal but in the meantime he would continue to sleep in her bed and wrap his body in her soft sheets and keep her close to him. With head down, he ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned forward on the cot. The door opened but Matt was too preoccupied to hear it.


	8. What Was Lost

Matt looked up to find Doc, Festus and Newly standing in front of the cell. Not a word was said between the three men just a quiet understanding of what Matt was going through.

"I'm not dead ya know,"

Doc cleared his throat, "we know that Matt but we also know it's no good sitting in here by yourself thinking about things you can't change. She's gone Matt and we don't like it any more than you do but there is nothing we can do about it, she made her choice." Doc tried to get his emotions under control. "Kitty will always be in our hearts, no one can ever take that away from us." Matt remained motionless as if the three men were not in the room. Doc looked at Matt and it tore his heart out to see his good friend suffering. He had patched up his body so many times over the years but there was nothing he could do to mend a broken heart. He then turned to Festus and Newly, "say, why don't we all go to dinner tonight?"

Festus and Newly agreed but silence still emanated from behind the bars. Matt shook his head, "I don't think I'll be much company, why don't you go on." Doc motioned to both men and they left the cell area and continued out the front door.

"Doc, ole Matthew is really takin' this thing hard, he don't even care that Marshaln' needs to be done." Doc shook his head, "unfortunately a little too late! Maybe after Matt is alone with his thoughts for awhile he may want something to eat. Let's meet back at the Long Branch around five and then we'll check back with him."

Newly agreed, "you know Doc, after Patricia died I appreciated having everyone around. It really helped me cope with my loss." Doc put his hand on Newly's shoulder, "Newly, when you fell in love with Patricia you married her; there was nothing more important in your life than her. Although she tragically died you made her very happy for the short time she had left on this earth. You healed Newly because you knew you didn't hold anything back, you had no regrets. It's going to be a lot harder for Matt. He knows he should have made that commitment to Kitty years ago but instead he focused on his job and gave Kitty what was left. I would say that is what is going to stay with Matt forever because there is no doubt in my mind he loved her, more than I have ever seen him love another woman. He just didn't see she needed more as the years went by," Doc shook his head, "just a shame, it's just such a damn shame." Doc started to walk away but quickly turned back. "So I'll see you two at five tonight at the Long Branch?" Both men nodded as they all walked their separate ways.

Matt was still sitting in the cell for awhile after they left. He knew he had a town to run but his heart wasn't in it anymore. Maybe he would go find his old friend Caleb Nash and do some hunting and fishing and get out from under the responsibility that was now weighing him down. He might not come back for there was no reason to now. Caleb was always trying to get him to come back to the mountains anyway and he certainly needed the distance from Dodge. "By golly, that's what I'm gonna' do." With new resolve he stood, walked out of the cell and headed for the door. With head down and mind preoccupied he hadn't noticed the figure before him, "hello, cowboy."

His head jerked up as if his ears were playing a horrible trick. He slowly approached her, "Kitty?"

She smiled, "Who'd you think it was?"

"But, you were going, you left, I heard the,"

She put her hand over his mouth, "Shhh, now are you gonna' just stand there stammerin' or are you gonna' welcome me home?"

He engulfed her in his arms, held her face with his hand, and gently brought his mouth to her waiting lips. They clung to each other renewing familiar territory that they thought was lost to them. Matt broke from Kitty's embrace as he looked around the room, "you know I think we need a little more privacy for what I have in mind, maybe we should find a room."

"Well, I pulled up stakes awhile ago so I don't know if I still have one."

"It's a good thing you know the Marshal in this town. He's pretty good at finding rooms for women in distress."

"Oh? I didn't know that duty fell under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Marshal in this town and, by the way, how many women has the Marshal helped find a room?"

"Just one ma'am, only one," Kitty looked up at him and smiled. Matt reached around her waist as they made their way to the door. As he reached for the knob, he stopped and put his hand to her face, "Kitty, it's so good to have you home."

"It's good to be home."

Doc had poured himself a drink and was walking aimlessly around the room when he thought he heard voices in the alley. As he pulled the lace curtain back from the window he saw them arm in arm, running up the back stairs knowing they were headed straight for her room. A huge smile creased his face as he sat down and poured another drink. Matt opened the door and with each step taken another article of clothing was removed until the floor was littered with pieces of cloth. They both laughed as they fell into bed so thankful to be with one another again.

Kitty fell back against the sheets sweat dripping from her skin. Matt leaned over and kissed her clammy body as he ran his fingers through her sweat drenched hair. "Glad you came back?"

"We might need to do this a couple more times for me to give you an honest evaluation, cowboy."

"Hmm, I'm not sure that I can ma'am but I guess I can try." With a big smile he leaned down and kissed her.

Kitty ran her fingers through his hair, "I can't believe I am even saying this but don't you have a job to do?"

"Not today,"

"I thought Doc said you were OK,"

Matt put his fingers on Kitty's lips. "I can go back to work but I'm not going to today, or tomorrow, or maybe even the next day."

"And why is that?"

"I have more important things to handle, like earning a good evaluation from my most critical judge." Matt ran his hand down her body and started to rub the inside of her thighs.

Kitty inhaled quickly while trying to concentrate, "What's going to happen to the town while you're in here pleading your case before the judge?"

"I have very capable deputies who can handle the town besides, you should only be worrying about the job I'm doing right here," he moved his lips down along her body until they replaced his hands. "Oh, Matt!"

Doc, Festus and Newly all met at the Long Branch at five as planned. They made their way down the boardwalk towards Delmonico's as Festus started towards the jailhouse. "Where you going?"

"I'm a gettin' Matthew as we's planned Doc."

"He's not in there."

"How's you knows that Doc?"

"Cause I know, now come on, I'm hungry."

"Did he leaves town Doc?"

"No, he didn't leaves town! He's very much in town and I don't know how much we're gonna' see of him the next couple of days."

"You ole scudder, you's better stop atalkin' in riddles and tell me and Newly here what Matthew is athinkin' on doin'."

Doc motioned for the two men to come closer to him so he could whisper. "I saw Matt earlier today going up the back stairs of the Long Branch arm in arm with a very attractive young lady."

Festus waved his hand in the air almost hitting Doc, "Shoot Doc, I's don't believe it, Matthew woodn't go and do somethin' like that so soon, not especially the way he feels about Miss Kitty."

"Will you lower your voice and come here." Doc whispered again, "it was Kitty you thick headed, oh, never mind," Doc was exasperated, "Let me spell it out for you. I'm sure right now the Marshal is on the second floor of the Long Branch and there's no telling when he's going to decide to come back to the office. Now you two are going to have to fill in until he comes back.

"Sure thing Doc," as a huge smile came across Newly's face.

"If this isn't the best pearl button bangled billie news,"

"Oh, and Festus, for heaven's sake don't go telling anyone about this. I think we owe it to both of them to give them as much time as they need."

"You can count on me Doc." Festus pointed his finger in Doc's face. "You knows my Aunt Thede used to say I was the most quietest one in the family."

"Well, fine, just keep it that way. Now come on, I'm hungry."

Newly was still smiling, "I think we all have appetites now Doc. This is really good news."

Matt turned up the light and turned back to Kitty. "You hungry?

"No, I don't want to leave your arms right now. After Sam closes I'll make us something."

He ran his fingers over her cheek. "What happened down at the depot?"

"I don't know that I want to talk about it right now."

"Might help if you do."

Kitty looked up into his caring blue eyes as she took a deep breath. "We were sitting at the depot waiting for the train and I was lost in my thoughts. After I left the Long Branch all I could think about was the life we've made together. It's not perfect Matt and there are things I would love to change but I knew that I couldn't leave you. So I sat very quietly waiting for the train trying to find ways to tell Michael that I couldn't go with him. Funny thing is I think he knew because he was quiet as well." She started to run her fingers up and down his chest. "I think he finally came to realize that even in our most intimate moments I would still be thinking of you and wanting you, that was never going to change." She kissed his chest and laid her head back on his shoulder. "So the train pulled into the station and he turned to me and said he thought it was best if he went alone. He leaned down to kiss me and I watched as he boarded the train. He waved as the train left the station and I stood there feeling horrible because I know he was in love with me but I just couldn't return that love." She took another deep breath. "I hope he will find someone who will really love him because he is a wonderful man." She kissed his neck. "Matt I don't know why I thought that moving away would make me forget you and the life we've shared.

Matt moved the hair away from her face. "I guess it wasn't easy for him giving up the woman he loved."

"You should know cowboy." She reached over and kissed him. "He was a good man Matt and I do feel sorry that it had to end like that, I never meant to hurt him."

"Oh, I think he knew that Kitty." Matt continued to stroke her hair. "I will always be very grateful to him for helping me recover and pointing out how lost I'd be without you. Believe me it would have only been a matter of time before I would have come to Baltimore to find you." He pulled her closer and stroked her back. "Tell me about Cody."

"There's nothing to tell, really. He came to the Long Branch one night when I was at my lowest point and tried to show me he was as good a Marshal as you."

"Did he succeed?"

"Well, he did have great hands," a smile crossed Kitty's face.

He tickled her sides, "I'll show you great hands!" as they rolled around in bed laughing. Matt leaned back on the pillow, "I hit him on his way out of town."

"So I heard."

"Where?"

"Down at the depot. Some idiot was telling everyone that he just witnessed the Marshal hitting the new Marshal and yelling something about touching his woman."

"Well, I'm not proud of it."

"Oh, I don't know, it was nice to know you still cared," she gave him a sly grin as she ran her hand down his chest to his waist.

"If you want to reach a little lower I'll show you how much I can care." Kitty threw back her head and laughed; a sound that Matt missed most of all.

Matt was trying to catch his breath as Kitty leaned over and stroked the sweat from his hair. He opened his eyes and saw her sweet smile. He pulled the palm of her hand over his lips and kissed it then wrapped his hand around it and held it to his chest. "Maybe we should get something to eat before you cause the death of me."

"Why Matthew Dillon whatever do you mean?"

"I'm not as young as I used to be, you know."

"Oh? I don't know any young buck that could compete with your stamina."

"Sampling young bucks lately, are you?"

Kitty started to laugh, "Just things I've heard."

"Better be, now are you going to make me something to eat?"

"Come on cowboy," Kitty climbed over Matt to get to her robe as Matt swatted her bare derrière.

"That is not the action of a man whose mind is on eating."

"Why Kitty Russell whatever do you mean?"

Kitty slipped on her robe as Matt pulled on his pants and boots. As they were approaching the door he found his shirt. They made their way downstairs as Kitty went to see what she could make for their late night snack. "Pour us a couple of drinks will ya Matt?" While she was gone Matt looked around the room and sipped on his drink. Michael was right about one thing he would be a shell of a man without Kitty. He was still deep in thought when Kitty entered the room. "I hope you're in the mood for eggs, it was the only thing I could find. Doesn't go very well with whiskey does it?" Matt jumped up and pulled out a chair, "I could draw us a couple of beers."

"Beers would be fine.

Matt made his way over to the bar and poured the beers. Kitty watched him make his way back to the chair and very thankful he decided not to button that shirt, "What were you thinking about when I came in?

He shook his head, "nothing, just thinking." He took a mouthful of eggs. "It seems that I owe you a picnic."

"Yes, I believe you do."

"How's tomorrow?"

"Matt are you sure?

"Kitty, we are going on a picnic and I really don't care what happens to the town tomorrow, I want to be with you." He reached over and grabbed her hand and kissed it. Kitty smiled, "How can I complain when I'm going to be alone with the man I love." Matt continued to rub his thumb over her hand, "have I told you lately that I love you?"

"No, but you sure showed me enough today."

"Night's still young!"

"Oh, you're incorrigible! Finish your meal."

Matt smiled as they continued to eat. When they were finished they cleared the table and Matt washed the dishes while Kitty dried. She handed a dish back to him, "I think you missed a spot," she pointed to the spot on the dish. Matt gave her a look and rewashed it. "Does this pass your inspection?" Kitty looked it over, "It'll do." Matt felt a little devilish as he took his wet hand and sprayed Kitty with the excess water. She put the dish away and snapped the towel across the side of his hip. Matt smiled, "maybe we should finish the dishes before we enter into any foreplay." Kitty laughed as she took the next dish from Matt. As she was putting the last dish away Matt came up behind her and kissed her neck. She turned to face him as he undid the tie around her robe and ran his wet, cold hands over her body. "Matt!" Kitty jumped away from his grasp. "Oh, you," she leaned over and scooped up some water and threw it at his bare chest. Before they knew it they were in a full fledged water fight and enjoying every minute of it. Matt finally held her in a kiss, took her in his arms and carried her back upstairs. Kitty undid her very wet robe and placed it over the chair. "I have to get this room back in order, it's so bare."

"Not as bare as you at the moment!"

"Matt, we're going to sleep."

"Anything you want," they both got under the covers. Kitty moved to her side of the bed as Matt reached over and pulled her to him, Kitty gave him a look. "I promise we'll sleep. I thought you might need to be warmed up a little." He wrapped his leg over hers and surrounded her body with his. "Speaking of bare rooms where are your things anyway, still down at the depot?"

"No, I had Jimmy Rucker bring them to the room next door." She let out with a yawn.

"Is that some sort of a hint?"

"You're not tired?" She yawned again.

"Nope."

"Don't you think we should get some sleep since tomorrow we'll be going on this picnic that you have been promising me for weeks?"

"Nope."

"All right, but we're going to sleep after that.

"Yep."

"You're such a liar," her laughter filled the room.

The next morning Doc shuffled into the Long Branch looking for some coffee. He looked around and sat down at a rear table. Sam came over with the pot and whispered to Doc, "I think you might be right Doc. I think the Marshal is staying here."

"Oh, you do?"

"There was a bottle left on the bar. I guess he came down last night and had a few."

"Oh," Doc chuckled to himself, "he had a few all right!"

"Well, you can't blame him can you Doc?"

"Sam, sit down a minute." Sam pulled back a chair and sat as close as Doc directed.

"I'm trying to keep this quiet because I think they need time."

"They?"

"The Marshal is upstairs but he isn't alone."

"Oh, I can't believe that, not after Miss Kitty's only been gone,"

Doc rolled his eyes, "Sam, Kitty is upstairs with him."

"What!"

"Shhh, I thought maybe they would be up having coffee that's why I stopped."

"Haven't seen them but oh, Doc, that's such good news. They've been through so much the past couple of weeks."

"Well," he rubbed his hand across his face, "I think I'll have a cup of coffee anyway."

The smell of the freshly made coffee woke Kitty from her sleep which only made her want a cup more. Matt was sleeping as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Hey sleepy head I thought you were going to take me on a picnic today."

He opened his eyes to see Kitty stoking his hair, "Good morning." He stretched his big frame and pulled her closer for a kiss. As she started to respond to his touch there was a knock on the door. They both looked at each other not sure if they should answer it. Finally Kitty got up, pulled her robe off the chair, and tied the garment closed as she went to the door. "Sam!"

"It's so good to see you Miss Kitty. I thought you might like some coffee."

"Sam, you're a godsend," she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, and Sam, could you bring some hot water to the room across the hall?"

"Sure thing Miss Kitty, it's so good to have you home." She touched his arm. "Sam, it is so very good to be home."

She took the tray from Sam and made her way back to Matt and poured both of them a cup. She got back into bed as they planned their day. As Kitty went across the hall to dress, Matt went to his boot and put the box in his pocket. His jacket was never cleaned but he did have another pair of pants and a blue shirt so all was not lost. He wanted to make today as normal as possible so she wouldn't suspect anything. He knocked on her door and stuck his head in. "I'm going over and take a bath at the Dodge House."

"You could take one here."

"Not with you in the room I couldn't, we'd never get to Spring Creek." he smiled as he closed the door.

He stopped by Delmonico's and asked for a picnic basket full of their favorite food, Hank for the buggy, Dodge House for the bath. He brought the buggy into the alley and went up the back stairs to get Kitty. She looked radiant in her black skirt, white brocade blouse, and hair flowing loosely down her back. He helped her into the coach as they proceeded to head for the creek. The ride was taking forever but she was with Matt so there wasn't anything else Kitty needed. She noticed that Matt was unusually quiet but she thought it was probably from lack of sleep. She never understood how he could do it but in his line of work sleep was a commodity. She took a deep breath, put her arms around Matt's arm, and put her head on his shoulder. Matt looked over at her and smiled. He leaned down for a kiss, which took longer than he had actually intended. "I'm glad I decided to move closer." Kitty poked him in the side, "I was beginning to think you forgot I was sitting next to you."

"I am always aware when you are sitting next to me, Miss Russell," Matt laid his hand on her thigh. So many years later and his touch still aroused her. "Do you think this horse could hurry it up a little?"

"What's your hurry? You do know we have the whole day?" Matt knew the reason for Kitty's impatience but he thought he'd have some fun.

"Matt, sometimes I, oh, you're so," Matt kissed her again.

"You know if you keep interrupting me we'll never get there." Matt smiled. Kitty leaned over and let her lips dance around his neck as her hand ran up his thigh. Her body move backwards with a tremendous force as she heard the reins crack over the horse's back.

Matt helped Kitty from the buggy as they made their way to their perfect secluded spot. Matt laid the blanket down in front of a huge bolder which was near a little waterfall that Kitty loved to listen to. Matt placed the champagne in the water, removed his vest and holster, and sat next to Kitty. He placed his arm around her and pulled her closer. "Happy?" Kitty just smiled. He breathed in her scent as he stroked her hair. The badge did have a terrible hold on him but how lucky he was that Kitty never let go. Could life be any better than her lying in his arms? He looked down and noticed that Kitty had fallen asleep. He closed his eyes and before too long the melodic sound of the falls also lulled him into a deep slumber. Their nap was short but restful. Kitty set out the plates as Matt went to retrieve the champagne from the creek. They ate in silence and Kitty still couldn't gauge why Matt was being so quiet. She cleared the area as Matt sat a million miles away. "Was it something I said?" Matt was so deep in thought he didn't hear Kitty. "Did you say something?"

"You've been pretty quiet all day cowboy, is there something wrong?"

"Come here," Matt pulled her closer. "I'm just a little preoccupied, I guess." He drew her into a long, passionate kiss which ignited their need for one another. Maybe it was all the time they spent apart or maybe it was the finality of Matt's job that overshadowed their existence but whatever it was they knew they craved each other's bodies whenever they touched again. Matt started to undo the buttons on her blouse. She removed his belt and shirt as waves of desire pulsated through their bodies. Forgetting their surroundings they once again were flesh against flesh and that unmistakable feeling of oneness held them captive until every ounce of their beings were satisfied as they held each other's sweat drenched bodies in the glow of complete surrender.

As their passion subsided, they quickly dressed and hoped that no one witnessed their intimate moment. That news would spread like wildfire in Dodge although no one would really be surprised. They fell back into each other's arms as Matt started to laugh. "I hope this is not an indication how you feel about what we just shared," Kitty was trying to figure out what was so funny.

"No, I'm just thinking about Doc," Matt was still chuckling.

"We just finished making love and you are thinking about Doc? Oh, this better be good!" Kitty threatened as she poked him in the side.

"A few weeks back when I was first taking you on our picnic I met Doc and when I told him we were coming to Spring Creek he told me a story about a couple who went skinny dippin' in the creek and some kids came along and ran off with their clothes."

"That must have been very embarrassing, anyone we know?" Kitty looked up at Matt with a smile.

"Who knows, Doc didn't get into the details. I think he was trying to see if I had any reaction." Matt matched Kitty's smile.

"Hmm, I wonder if Doc happened to be passing that day." Kitty kissed Matt's lips lightly.

"You think he might have?"

"Everything else happened just as he said, well, except for the clothes being stolen." Kitty continued to stroke Matt's chest. "Remember?"

"Whose idea was that anyway?"

"I believe it was yours, cowboy. You thought it would make a fine substitution for our tub."

"By golly, I believe I did!" He smiled as he kissed Kitty.

Matt was hoping that this light exchange would hide the nervousness he felt. He leaned over and retrieved his vest and placed it next to him. He reached for the pocket and made sure that the ring was still there as Kitty became very curious about Matt's actions. "Did we ever finish our conversation about Adam?"

"Why is he coming to mind now?

"I don't know I was just thinking about him the other day when I thought you were going to marry Michael.

"I don't understand."

"Kitty, when Adam was Marshal in Deerfield he had a woman. I saw her the day we stopped for supplies before we went to the mine. I think her name was Mary. Anyway, you could tell by watching them that they meant something to each other once. You see, in the beginning she accepted who he was and how things had to be between them but then as time went on she wanted more. One day she talked about them settling down and having children and I guess that frightened him so when he was asked to take a job in Montana he left and never saw her again until that day. She had two young ones with her and it just set him off thinking about his life. That night at camp was when he told me the story and how he really regretted leaving her behind. He didn't come right out and say so but I believe that if he had it to do all over again I think he would have stayed and settled down with Mary and had those kids." He ran his fingers down her face. "It got me to thinking about my life and then yesterday when I thought I had lost you I realized how stupid I was that I didn't learn from his mistake." She smiled up at him and gently kissed his lips, "I know none of this has been easy on you Kitty."

"Matt, it was stupid for me to have those girlish dreams anyway. I knew what I was getting into and how things had to be between us. I won't deny that I would love to have a home and bear your children but I understand your reasons."

"Kitty but you do deserve a home, and kids, but most of all a loving husband." Kitty was starting to feel very confused since she knew Matt's aversion to permanency.

"What are saying Matt?

"Kitty you'll have to excuse this clumsy old lawman." Matt released Kitty from his arms which started to scare her. He grabbed his vest, reached into the pocket, and got up on one knee.

With the ring in his left hand and her left hand in his right, "Kitty, I've been a fool for so many years. I've put you through so much but through it all you were always there to love me, to hold me, to be my rock. I don't know how I would have gotten through all these years without you. There would be no me without you and I really can't go through another day without asking, Kitty Russell, will you marry me?"

Kitty was speechless. This was the last thing in the world she expected and she was stunned. She loved this man with all her heart for so long but this moment was surreal to her. "Oh, Matt the ring is beautiful," tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"Kitty, will you? Will you be Mrs. Matthew Dillon?"

There was nothing else in the world she had ever wanted to be. From the first moment she stepped off that stage and saw that oak of a man she had fantasized about how their life would be together. Now here he was on bended knee, his bad knee at that, and she was frozen. This should have been the happiest moment of her life but something was holding her back.

"Matt, there has never been a day when I haven't thought about this moment. I've wanted this with all my heart but," Matt stared at Kitty in disbelief.

"But?" Matt held his breath.

"Cowboy, when I marry you I want us to be together, to have a life together. I don't want to worry and wonder if you are ever coming home. I have done that for eighteen years now. I can't do that anymore. I want to wake up in your arms everyday for the rest of the lives we have left." Matt just listened. "I would never ask you to give up the badge, you know that. I know the hold it has on you. It defines you. I can't compete with it and I have known that for years. I haven't liked it but I have always known that came first."

"Kitty, I have always loved you. I know I don't show that often enough and that was wrong. A wrong I want to make right. Adam made me realize how stupid I've been to neglect you."

Kitty could not stop crying. "Kitty please, I love you, I need you, I want you for the rest of my life. You're right I can't give up the law that easily, but I am going to try for both our sakes."

Kitty took the hand that he was holding the ring in and kissed it. "I love you Matthew Dillon, I always have and I always will. Did you think that I would let you get away from me now? Matt you are my world; of course I'll marry you my love."

Matt felt a tremendous sense of relief overcome him. He stood up, helped Kitty to her feet, and then he took her head in his hands, "Kitty it scares me to leave the law and I think you know that. I really don't know what else I am good at but what scares me the most is not having you in my life."

"Matt I know this won't be an easy thing for you to do and I know you will need some time and Washington will need some time to find a replacement. All I ask is that you don't make it too long cowboy, OK?" Kitty smiled and kissed his lips gently. "When you are free from your obligation to the law then we will plan our wedding and our life together."

Matt took Kitty's left hand in his and placed the ring on her finger. He kissed her hand then he kissed her lips. "Matt, you know we are going to have to keep this quiet until you retire."

"I know, Kitty, I know. Once the retirement papers come through we'll make a joint announcement. I don't want your life in any more danger than it already is." Matt took a deep breath, "funny, one of the most important events in our lives and we have to keep it secret."

"Hey cowboy, we know and one day everyone else will know too. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Kitty."

As they kissed, the emotion of the moment started to arouse both of them again. They looked into each other's eyes and Matt started to laugh.

"Now what's so funny?"

"That creek is looking mighty good to me."

"Oh, Matt we can't, we couldn't, I mean should we, again, what if?" The quietness of the day was broken by a loud splash and the ripples of water cascading over their bodies."


	9. All My Tomorrows Will Be Yours

It was late when they returned to Dodge and they both noted how quiet it was for that time of the evening. Matt pulled the buggy into the alley and helped Kitty out as he kissed her gently, "I'm gonna' drop the buggy off at Moss' then drop the basket off at Delmonico's and then we'll celebrate our engagement, sound all right to you?"

"More than right." She watched Matt as he drove down Front Street. She climbed the stairs and entered the room. She removed her jewelry, washed her face in the basin, slipped on her St. Louis nightgown, and then combed her hair. She made her way over to their bed and propped the pillows so she could sit up as she slipped under the covers. She looked down at her hands. Her fingers were bare except for the ring finger on her left hand. She held that finger in her right hand, turning the ring in different directions and admiring the craftsmanship. What this must have cost she thought to herself. There were small birthstones, her birthstone, which ran up each side of the gold band and met the most exquisite diamond she had ever owned. Tears of joy streamed down her face as she looked forward to the day when she would become Mrs. Matthew Dillon. Matt was as quiet as he could entering Kitty's room hoping no one downstairs would hear. As he approached her bed he noticed her admiring the ring. He smiled as he thought about the day when he would slip on the companion gold band. She was so lost in her thoughts that he startled her as he approached. "Matt I didn't expect you this early."

"If you would rather I left," Matt turned as if to leave.

"Matthew Dillon you take another step and I will never, and I mean never, talk to you again!"

Matt turned back to her, "Is that any way to talk to your husband-to-be?"

Kitty just smiled, "I love the sound of that." She patted the empty side of the bed, "Come here my husband-to-be."

Matt started to undress as Kitty watched. Matt saw the smile on her face.

"What are you smiling about?"

"You!"

"I'm glad I amuse you!"

"Cowboy, for as long as we have been together I still love to watch you undress."

"I have a lot more scars now." Matt looked down at his chest as he made his way under the covers.

Kitty ran her hand over Matt's chest stopping at each one. She could clearly recall each incident and the pain they caused her. She kissed the scar that made her leave Dodge many years ago. Another time she foolishly thought leaving would erase him from her mind forever but then he walked into the Ballad Nugget and she knew returning to Dodge was her fate. "I love you cowboy and nothing will ever change that," tears started to fall down her cheeks.

Matt cupped her head in his hand. "I love you Kitty and I always will."

Matt stroked Kitty's face as they stared into each other's eyes. The quiet was broken when they heard a crash downstairs and a couple of loud voices. Usually Matt's first instinct was to get up and make his way to the bar but much to her amazement he didn't budge. Eventually they heard Festus' voice talking about some knuckleheaded yayhoos and how they were disturbing peaceful folks upstairs followed by silence and then back to the normal noise level. They looked at each other and laughed then she held him in a passionate kiss as a thank you for not leaving her side. "What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"No."

"Let's just say this was probably the first time I can recall that your sense of duty remained in this room, almost as if you felt obligated." She started to laugh.

"I'll show you obligation," he tenderly kissed her lips and pulled her closer to him. "Kitty maybe we should start to think about finding another place to live so we won't be interrupted, I mean, what if I was in the middle of making love to you just now?"

"Cowboy, believe me they could tear the place apart but I wouldn't let you leave this bed!"

"I hate to inform you ma'am but you could be arrested for interfering with my ability to enforce the law."

" Handcuffs involved?"

"Now who's incorrigible?"

"Would you have it any other way?"

"No ma'am I wouldn't." He drew her into a passionate kiss as his hand rolled her nightgown strap down her arm and cupped her breast. She let out with a low moan, "Oh, Matt I do love you so."

Matt fell back on the pillow and held Kitty tight as he rubbed her back in a rhythmic motion. "You think we'll ever get tired of this, Matt?"

"What, your room?"

"Very funny, you know what I mean." She poked him in the side as he tried very hard not to laugh. "When we are finally married do you think we'll always be like this? Wanting each other so?"

"Yes, I believe we will." They looked into each other's eyes and nothing else needed to be said.

Kitty fell into a deep sleep quickly as Matt held her and stroked her hair. Too many things were running through his mind for him to sleep. He thought about Michael on the train, alone, and how he must be feeling. He thought about Adam Kimbro and Mary and their missed opportunity and thankful he was not going to go down that road. Matt looked down at a sleeping Kitty and smiled. He was never going to have to live without her again and that made him very happy. She moved a little as she let out with a soft moan. He kissed her forehead and as his fingers traced her face he found himself wondering what their daughter would look like and looking forward to the day they would become parents. Kitty had dreams and he was going to do whatever he could to fulfill them. He let out with a yawn as a feeling of contentment came over him. As he drifted off to sleep his last thoughts were about Kitty becoming his wife, their home, and the children that he had foolishly denied both of them for so long. He was going to enjoy life again one day with the woman he loves but what he was looking forward to the most was the day when he could pin his badge on another man's chest.


End file.
